#ctp

Burn, Baby, Burn

Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames..png

My life has been pretty turbulent. I've had quite a few trials and tribulations. Today marks the death of my oldest daughter. It's been 14 years and the pain is not as sharp but it is still present. This death anniversary is not as hard as some, but it is hit or miss. Sometimes there is underlying anger, sometimes, like this year, brings about a deep quietness and deep reflection. I don't speak much, I don't create much, I just be. LOL.. whatever the hell that means. Maybe it's survival, maybe its a quiet way to honor her.

Either way, I usually stay present in my life, but I become a spectator, if you will. I get my kids to school, I get dinner on the table, I exist, but I don't participate. No place else have I felt that than here on CTPTalk.com and the CTP platform. I would watch the feeds, but not curate. I would be reading both Discord and Telegram, but not respond or speak.

..But today, well, today was different. I felt willing and excited to get back here. I MISSED being here.. Talking, engaging, laughing, creating. It started off this morning with a simple good morning. Without missing a beat, @ 4:00 am each morning @bradleyarrow comes into the Discord chat. I decided it wasn't quite time,,, but soon, soon I would be back. So I began to dive in later that morning. I worked on engaging, talking, creating, curating.. Soon I am feeling productive and proud of myself. I begin to add some content on other media platforms and what do I find??

Little miss @elianaicgomes working hard to stay on track with her #2020vision videos. She hasn't missed a day. Through a sick little boy and personal injury she pushes on. She does an amazing job in each one, I've always enjoyed watching them. Except this one was different. How? Because she called ME out on it! I got a mention in someone's post! Little old boring me! LOL... challenge accepted. I have created my first video. It still needs a spit and shine as not all my participants were cooperative, so stay tuned! It will be out tomorrow!

I had forgotten how good it feels to be part of this community. How much YOU PEOPLE fan MY flames.

Thank you and God Bless each of you cool, amazing people!

Comments · 10

@arcange(79)· 2394d
Congratulations @jennawash5! Your post was mentioned in the Steem Hit Parade for newcomers in the following category:
- Comments - Ranked 2 with 19 comments
@thisisawesome(69)· 2395d
I am very sorry for your loss @jennawash5, I cannot image how losing a child would be like, but I am glad that you find comfort in reaching out to the community, and the great response you have got, keep up your great work, it's awesome.

Made in Canva

This post is AWESOME!

Therefore it has been manually upvoted with 100% and resteemed by @thisisawesome, I manually upvote and resteem 1 post per day for the Awesome Daily Spotlight, and I also promote that post on Twitter, and it will be included as the Awesome Daily Spotlight in the Awesome Daily post of today, and it will also be featured in the Awesome Weekly Spotlight that is posted on Sundays.

The goal of this project is to "highlight Awesome Content, and growing the Steem ecosystem by rewarding it".
@pixiepost(74)· 2395d
Beautiful blog post. I am so happy you returned. I am looking forward to getting to know you more, because you have such a vibrant energy! I am sorry for what you have been through with the loss of your daughter. Even though it's not the same, I lost my husband in 2015 so I can relate in a different way. Grief is a tricky thing but we all go through it in our own way. The CTP Tribe is truly like a family (as @bradleyarrow mentioned in his video this morning) so we are here to support you & one another.

And thank you for accepting the #2020Vision challenge. So excited to have you aboard. Please let me know if I can help with any questions, etc.

Sending much love & pixie dust! 🧚‍♀️🦄💜
@lisamgentile1961(70)· 2395d
So very sorry for your loss Jenna! Glad you're back and that this community is providing support at this difficult time. Sending prayers and good thoughts for you and your family
@paulnulty(55)· 2395d
I sympathise with you and your loss, it must be a tough time of the year, however it's good to see you are pushing on. It's great to see the community support with all the great people at CTP! And you are also a great person so keep your chin up and keep pushing on. ❤
@fiberfrau(66)· 2395d
So glad you find comfort and community here. Many of us understand the pain of losing a child. Everyone grieves differently, but we survive and make everything we do honor that life. For example, when I work with children at church or love my remaining grandchildren, I honor our little Ruthie's life.
@elianaicgomes(73)· 2396d
I guess it was the perfect time to call you out! I'm really sorry for your loss, can't imagine the pain! I keep doing these little things with David everyday because we cannot take the next day for granted! And I'm glad that you're joining us! It feels good when you keep something on track! Can't wait to see your videos :)
@flaxz(75)· 2396d
Thanks a lot for sharing about yourself and your life Jenna, and great that you reach out and engage with people, and I am glad that you are part of this community, stay awesome.
@bradleyarrow(77)· 2396d
Welcome back. We are here for you :) so glad that I could help be an inspiration. You have no idea how much that helps me also. This is what I love about our CTP tribe. We really are an extended family :)
@hirohurl(70)· 2396d
Oh, Jenna, I have a friend who lost her youngest child when he was only little to some kind of illness some years ago. You are not little and boring - no more of that now! This is a good place to find your fire-fanners! Looking forward to seeing the video.

David Hurley #InspiredFocus