From Teenager to Adulthood

_{My tall scrawny ass running cross country in high school.}

I didn't have a traditional transition from teenager to adulthood. At 17 I walked into a Marine Corps recruiter's office, still hungover and, with my mother's blessing, signed my life away. A few months later I was on the yellow footprints at boot camp getting screamed at by drill instructors. That was my transition. Sink or swim. Grow up or wash out.

I didn't know anything else. Didn't have a plan B. Didn't come from money. Didn't have a college fund waiting for me. Hell, didn't have the grades for college. The military was my way out. My path forward. The only option I saw that made sense at the time. The challenge was surviving it. Not just boot camp. All of it. The discipline. The structure. The demands on your body and mind that never let up. I had to learn fast. How to follow orders without question. How to push through when everything in me wanted to quit. How to be part of something bigger than myself. I was a kid pretending to be a man. Surrounded by other kids doing the same thing. And somehow we made it work.

I wasn't a perfect Marine. I wasn't a perfect man. I failed at being present for my family more times than I can count. Deployments. Training. The job always came first because that's what was expected. That's what I told myself anyway. I failed at taking care of myself mentally. Stuffed everything down. Kept moving. Didn't process. Didn't ask for help. That caught up with me later in ways I'm still dealing with. I failed at being patient. At listening. At slowing down long enough to appreciate what I had while I had it.

But there were successes too. I served over 20 years. Made it through deployments. Made it through the bullshit. Built a career after. Earned my stripes. I married my wife when we were young. We're still together over 30 years later. That's not luck. That's work. That's choosing each other over and over even when it was hard. I raised two sons. They're good men. They're making their own way. They turned out better than me. That was always the goal.

The military shaped a good deal about how I think. How I lead. How I react under pressure. How I approach problems. The failures taught me humility. Taught me that I don't have all the answers. Taught me to ask for help when I need it, even if it takes me too damn long to do it. The successes taught me that showing up matters. That persistence matters. That you can fail a hundred times and still end up somewhere good if you don't quit.

I walked into that recruiter's office a kid with no direction. I walked out of the military a man with a lot of miles on him. Broken in some places. Stronger in others. The transition from teenager to adulthood wasn't a moment for me. It was a process. A long, messy, painful, rewarding process that I'm still going through. Because honestly, I'm still figuring out who I am and who I want to be.

Maybe that never stops.

Thanks for reading, Joe

_{Notes:
-All content is mine unless otherwise annotated.
-Images are my own unless otherwise noted.
-Photos edited using Linux photo editor and drawing and/or iPhone SE.
-Page Dividers from The Terminal Discord.}

Comments · 12

@nancybriti1(74)· 2h

In just a few minutes, I've read two of your posts, and I can say you're a good man. I feel that in some countries and in other eras, people were expected to grow up quickly, especially young people. I remember my father wanted me to get married, but I preferred to study, so I studied and graduated. I imagine that sometimes we don't have many options. The important thing is that you never regret the choice you made. Best regards, my friend.

@haveyoumetellie(62)· 2d

We're still together over 30 years later. That's not luck. That's work. That's choosing each other over and over even when it was hard.

Ahh. To be chosen over and over again. When people get married because of love. May you be blessed with many more happy and healthy years together!

I'm still figuring out who I am and who I want to be. Maybe that never stops.

We all are, Joe. Different days bring different versions of us, with different strengths and weaknesses. We just have to keep falling in love with the process. Ah, this is life, while it's hard and unpredictable, it's still undeniably good.

@tengolotodo(78)· 3d

You did well Joe, shows what the forces can do for people. Bang on the money about work making a marriage work too!

@avdesing(80)· 3d

An abrupt, tough transition, all about survival, which threw a bit of everything at you. But I’m sure you’ll discover who you really are, you’ll get there!

@beelzael(75)· 4d

I was a lot luckier than you. And I'm grateful for that every time I think about it. My defining experience was the opposite of military service - civil service, taking care of physically and mentally disabled people. Didn't save me from many similar experiences that you recount, though. I think there are many mistakes that everybody does, before learning to avoid them.

And I'm always glad to read that you haven't given up yet on finding out who you are and want to be!

@leighdalisay(69)· 4d

Thanks for sharing your journey from teenager to adulthood. Your blog truly captures the raw truth that becoming an adult isn’t a single turning point but a long, uneven journey. Owning the fact that you’re still discovering who you are is courageous. It reminds us/readers that self‑definition is ongoing, not something we finish at 18 or 21. Cheers!

@hivebuzz(74)· 4d

Congratulations @coinjoe! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)

You got more than 8250 replies.
Your next target is to reach 8500 replies.

_{You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking} _{If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP}

@bozz(83)· 4d

There are times I kind of wish I had went into the military, but I know it wouldn't have really been an option. Since my dad was in, I don't think there is any way he would have let me. Who knows though.

@livinguktaiwan(81)· 4d

I wasn't a perfect Marine. I wasn't a perfect man

There is no perfect in life. You threw yourself in for your country, even though you didn't know that at the time, and you grew and made yourself a better person in the process. You should be proud of what you achieved, and your country should be proud of you.

I wish more kids would do that in the UK instead of wasting their life and getting lost in the system and becoming a liability to society

@deirdyweirdy(72)· 4d

Did you ever regret walking into a Marine Corps recruiter's office? 17 seems such a young age to decide the path you'll walk for the rest of your life.

@pizzabot(60)· 4d

PIZZA!

$PIZZA slices delivered: @bulliontools_(2/20) tipped @coinjoe

_{Join us in Discord!}

@bulliontools(75)· 4d

The beauty of life is no two lives are the same. I think we're all still figuring things out regardless of how far along we are, and we're doing the best we can with what we've got. Your boys becoming men even better than yourself is a huge win, and one I aspire to do myself with my boys.

!BBH !PIZZA !ALIVE