Hmmm, I really can't remember the last time I shared about the sadness i'm feeling inside. I mean, even I can't admit to myself that I am sad and lonely. I just hate it. I see myself as a strong depende- it should be independent but I am not that so ƪ(‾.‾“)┐. And yeah, I am strong so sharing emotions to everyone is kinda hard for me. I mean, what can they do anyway? Sharing it with the family is like me wanting to get laugh for being sad. Its not a thing in this family you know, especially back then -but even today too.
And nope, I never share my sadness to them, I can share my frustration but not my sadness. It will never easy for me to share that actually coz its like i'm showing a vulnerability that I think is unnecessary. I don't know, that's just how I feel. Its hard and I know that's one thing I can never share. But with strangers, Its much easier, but to be honest sharing it with CHATGPT is much easier, lol. I just think chatgpt as an emotionless AI is a good listener. Have u tried talking to it while you're having a breakdown?
Sadness, even if you don't want to feel it, but it will suddenly just "whoosh" to you and the more you want to get over it faster, the more it gets harder, the emotions just keep growing and stronger. I am sure i'm not the only one here who experience a sudden drop in mood. When it happens to me, I was like "WHY? I am not even feeling anything, but what's this?" You know, that kind, a sudden realisation of something of whatever that sh*t. I also noticed that a sad melody can make me feel that unexplainable sadness.
A melody, I don't even understand the lyrics. But a sad melody and a sweet and soothing voice -though the voice is angelic and really beautiful but with the sad melody accompanying it, I would just "whooshongggg, booogsh, bam" Like, WAE? WHY? HOW? Aigoooo. I feel like I was thrown into a hard pavement, its painful and really just sad. Is this what it feels when you're a "Trentahin" or in your 30s? The emotional wave is just O.A, always too sudden and when it hits you, you can't just shrug it off at all.
Crying is the only answer, I read manhwa to make myself cry. The kind of manhwa with unrequited love and with so much angst, something like that. It helps more actually than to share it with someone. I know, sharing it can do so much too, but it is really not just my thing. See, I can't even remember anymore that last time I shared my sadness to someone. That deep, heart wrenching, and painful kind of sadness.
Why u gotta be so rude? Yes, sadness WHY?
Don't u know i'm human too. Yes, I feel sad too SADNESS, yes YOU!
Why u gotta be so rude? Pls be gentle to me, yes, YOU, SADNESS!
I'm gonna marry him anyway!!? You know, what, nvm! I'll find HAPPINESS and Marry him. Hhmppt!
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