A person's memories are tied to their friends or to those who are very dear to them; otherwise, if one sits alone, thoughts of the past keep flooding in—reflections fill the mind, and one's eyes well up with tears.
On the surface, perhaps nothing extraordinary ever happened; we would simply sit with friends, sharing the same mundane conversations and the same everyday meals. Yet, it is these very ordinary moments that summed up into such extraordinary memories—memories that make one long to experience those simple, everyday things all over again.
It was Sunday, September 14, 2025, and like any other ordinary day, I was feeling bored and listless. I had no desire to meet anyone, yet I would often step out at my friends' insistence; I felt that if I didn't heed them, they might start thinking I was disloyal.Just look at this picture where I’m sitting with my eyes completely closed. I was actually posing for a photo, but the result was really bizarre—it looked awkward.
I went to try out a new café called 'Xanders'—located just a short distance from my hostel—at the insistence of my friends. While we sat there chatting, my mind wasn't truly present; I was smiling, responding to everyone, and even cracking jokes as usual, yet I felt a strange sense of listlessness. I remember clearly that after that meetup, I never saw them again in the same way, and I eventually left that city altogether.
I settled in Lahore and stayed there until February, but then I went back to Islamabad to meet my friends again. Now, I feel like going back to Islamabad, but those days are gone, and it doesn't seem possible anymore.I do visit Islamabad from time to time, but only for a day or two; and in that brief span, I do not experience the same profound joy I felt during the four years I lived there. In fact, it feels as though those four years were spent in Paradise, while the rest of my life has been lived in some circle of Hell. Although life is life, for some reason, I find life in Islamabad incredibly appealing and delightful.
Anyway, after having a meal that day, we visited a nearby book center where we browsed through and purchased some books afterwards, we headed home and returned to our respective hostels.
Life isn't as hectic now as it was during my student days, yet there is a persistent feeling of being overwhelmed—a constant, nagging thought that I am incredibly busy and need to achieve something significant. At the same time, my heart yearns for those few days of leisure, wishing I could simply return to that state of ease and just sit there undisturbed.
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