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One of my favorite love stories in the whole entire world is our own story...as it should be...but it's also because it's a good one! However...this post isn't about all of that. This post is about how my number one squeeze gave me the honey glows somethin' awful!
About a week ago, I woke up like any normal day, groggy and almost incoherent to find my husband full of energy and vigor. He said he had a dream, woke up feeling super duper in love and made a whole vlog about it. When I watched it, my heart melted into a large puddle
We haven't had a marriage or relationship full of a lot of ups and downs or uncertainty. Nope, ours is undoubtedly, recklessly, irrevocably, madly full of passion.
But that comes with a price.
We feel each other's emotions...we live in each other's head space...we are, as they might say, fully united.
He knew before I did that I was pregnant. All. Three. Times. He shared the pregnancies with me, even the morning sickness. In fact, our last one went like this.
"Hey hon, I think I'm going to puke," as he ran to the bathroom after work. I consoled him for a brief moment before I grabbed a pregnancy test and found out that I was, indeed, knocked up...again. I think we finally figured out how it happens because it's been over ten years. But man do I have baby fever!
Anyway, back to my point. Which is this. We are two halves of one whole, and sometimes that's challenging. There are many times when we can't figure out who's emotions are who's and we spend a great deal of time sorting through it. And here recently we've started a theme of relying on each other because the side effect of feeling each other's everything is that it can sometimes feel like a lot, and for me, that means I put up barriers. Not to stop feeling his emotions, but to hide my own as to not make it more complicated. I've discovered (probably like most wives and moms) I'm a fixer. I want to fix all the problems and not create any new ones, and in order to do that I like to pretend that certain emotions aren't happening.
It doesn't work. It doesn't even make sense. If he knew me so well that he could tell a baby was there, then how can I keep anything else away? ...And it all comes out in the end anyway...
So, my area of growth has been this. Allowing my emotions to run freely without fear of creating a problem, and relying on him, my husband, to be able to handle it and to help.
Which...shocker...he does effortlessly.
My kids thought I was nuts, well, maybe not more that normal, but it did make them smile.
So thanks so much for sharing this with me. It's not always easy to write about the areas in your life that need development, but it would be a lie to say they don't exist.
Much love, Stacie D
