WHY DO PEOPLE HIDE THEIR PAIN BEHIND LAUGHTER
What is pain?
Pain is not only when your body hurts. Pain is when your heart is heavy but you cannot explain it. Pain is when you lose someone, when money finish, when you try so hard and nothing works, when you are lonely even inside crowd..... Pain is that quiet thing you carry inside that makes you tired without doing work.
What is laughter?
Laughter is what people see. It is smile, joke, loud noise, happy face.... Laughter is light. Everybody likes laughter. If you laugh, people want to be near you..... If you laugh, people think you are okay.
So why do people hide pain inside laughter? Because it is easier to show light than to show darkness.
Nobody wants to walk around with pain written on their forehead. It is heavy. If you show your pain, people will keep asking, "What is wrong?" And sometimes you don't even have answer. Sometimes you just feel down and you don't know why. So instead of trying to explain something you don't understand yourself, you just laugh.
Another reason is, pain makes people uncomfortable. When you tell people you are in pain, some don't know what to say. Some will pity you. Some will change topic. Some will tell you "sorry" but they don't really feel it. To avoid that awkwardness, people just package their pain inside joke. They laugh so that everyone else will feel okay.
Also, some people have learned that laughter protects them. If you laugh about your own pain, nobody can use it to laugh at you. You control the story. You say, "Yes, I knoow lifee is hard, but look, I can still laaugh." It gives you small power.
But the problem is, when you keep hiding pain behind laughter, the pain does not go away. It just stays inside. You laugh for public but you cry when you are alone. Many people are like that. They are the strongest in public and the weakest in private.
Have I ever done it? Yes. I have laughed when I was not okay. I have said "I dey fine" when I was not fine at all. I think everyone has.
We hide pain behind laughter because we are scared to be vulnerable, but also because we have learned that laughter is the only language people want to hear.
Maybe we should create space for people to say "I am not okay" without them having to laugh first.
image source AI
