What Girls Want, What Girls Need: Sometimes, It’s Just Another Woman
In 1999, Christina Aguilera emerged as one of Britney Spears’ biggest pop rivals. Back then, pop music was largely considered a girl’s territory, and the songs of that era reflected that collective mindset. Aguilera released “What a Girl Wants,” and it became an instant hit. I was seven years old, and I have no shame in admitting that I was a devoted fan, not only of that song but of the American singer herself. I styled my hair like hers, danced the way she did in her videos, and, basically, I wanted to be Christina Aguilera.
Less than a month ago, without planning it or even wanting it, I got on a public bus on my way to work. I had forgotten my headphones at home, so I thought, “Oh, great. This is going to be a long morning.” To my right, behind me, and in the seats in front of me were women who, back in 1999, were probably around the same age I was. And why does all this context matter? Because there it was, playing at full volume: the hit I had just mentioned. I looked around and saw smiles on all those women’s faces. I think we all understood something without saying a single word or even knowing one another. I’m sure our circumstances were completely different. Some had their children with them, others were staring out the bus window, perhaps thinking about some unpaid bill that had been stressing them out, while others were simply enjoying the unusual moment, just as I was on my way to work. Somehow, a group of women with absolutely no direct connection shared a tiny experience that made us feel connected, more familiar with one another, and maybe even a little more empathetic.
We need more moments like that. I could never tell you, my dear friend, what a girl wants or what a girl needs. But I can tell you, from where I stand, that some of the things I value most in life are being useful, being worthy of trust, and trying to be a good person to others, including you. I like to believe that we could live in a world where becoming friends with women we have never met before would not feel strange at all. If we don't confront, question, and destroy those old ideas that taught us women are “jealous” of one another or incapable of genuine solidarity, nobody else will do it for us. It depends on us. It always has.
I genuinely believe that if we pay closer attention to what girls and women actually do, we’ll realize that life would be much simpler if we supported each other more often. Honestly, we have far more in common than we have reasons to be against one another. So maybe we should do ourselves a favor and start making each other’s lives a little better. I don't know if every woman loves pop music or Christina Aguilera, but I have absolutely no doubt that most of us would appreciate having more support than we sometimes receive, especially from other women. A friend who comes without judgment and without prejudice. Maybe that is, after all, what girls really want and what they really need.
All photographs and content used in this post are my own. Therefore, they have been used under my permission and are my property.
