People process pain differently. For me, I prefer keeping things to myself, I might tell family though and very few trusted persons, but it's very difficult to talk to people about my struggles. Sometimes, even though I'm asked, I still hold back some important information, I try to make situation less serious. Because, I have come to understand that when going through stuff, one might be tempted to over share details that's meant for only you, and a few trusted persons. I have often wondered how I pull through tough times without letting everyone around me know what I'm facing. I could be going through a bad day and still putting up a warm smile like nothing really happened but deep down I'm exhausted and need help. But I'd rather still hold back. I could be facing challenges and still genuinely checking up on people and encouraging them, I sometimes wonder how I do all of that. But one place I know for sure that I can't hide my baggage is family, and in the place of prayer. I Would shed all the tear, say all I want but immediately I'm outside, you would probably think I don't have issues, or go through things. This is how it has been for me. I appear strong on the outside, but inwardly I'm drained, tired, frustrated... I have learn't overtime that pain can make one become someone else, it can change your perspective about a situation or someone, it can make you act unlike yourself. I have learn't to keep a lot of things to myself not because I wouldn't want to share but I have once had the case where I was judged because I shared my experience with someone and the person used it against me, and said many degrading things about me when we had a misunderstanding. That really broke me and made me even more careful about sharing my struggles, plus the fact that I never liked sharing my pain with people. This could be the case with many people too. The fear of being misjudged, the fear of being shamed with the very thing you confidently told someone, the fear of being stigmatized and blamed for your mistakes. Also, I think that saying less is safe because we do not really know people inwardly and their thoughts towards us. Being careful with words is a good way to stay out of trouble and unpleasant experiences. No one gets to accuse you of something, you also become unpredictable; less access, more peace of mind. Another reason I hardly share my struggles is maybe because I'm the oldest of all my parents' children, I have always thought that I shouldn't let my younger siblings see the vulnerable and weaker side of me. I also thought it's okay to always be the strong one holding everything together, the one everyone comes to when they're going through stuff, and not the other way round. But as I journeyed through life, I know better, and I understand that we can be vulnerable sometimes, lean on people, share our life's struggles with people who truly care and want our best interest. Life shouldn't be too hard, and that we shouldn't do life alone as we all need a shoulder to lean on, a listening ear to talk to and relay our everyday struggles too. That way, life becomes more enjoyable, but we also need to choose our people wisely. Image is AI generated
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