“I'm sorry, but by the time you get on Uppity Foolery Watch, you have already been living a life with no dignity, and got caught. I'm 10. You're going to catch me eating all the blackberries I can get, because that's what I do. Fools get caught doing foolery, because that's what they do.”
Ten-year-old Glendella Ludlow was talking with cousin turned adoptive big sister, eleven-year-old Eleanor Ludlow about the latest Ludlow big cousin to get on Uppity Foolery Watch, Croesus Ludlow.
“How are you going to be running down the street after a sports car being repoed talking about 'You can't do this to me' while looking like you should have put on more than your briefs after your morning bath and not have foolery habits?” Glendella continued.
“I can't even argue with that,” Eleanor said, “because I'm trying to imagine Papa in a situation like this, and the only thing I can get back is the laws of the universe shouting NEVER.”
“Because Upgrade Papa's life tells us he doesn't do foolery!” Glendella said. “Unless someone messes with us or Good Grandma and ends up on Uppity Foolery Watch in the last minutes of their lives as they are overtaken, Upgrade Papa doesn't have the habits that would get him on Uppity Foolery Watch, and neither does Good Grandma!”
“I think that most people don't have those habits,” Eleanor said, “or at least don't have them combined with enough money to do what Cousin Croesus just did – or maybe not enough credit cards, because you can get into a lot of foolery with credit cards. One pair of foster parents taught me that!”
“But, see, that's what I'm saying,” Glendella said. “I eat blackberries. I can pick them and I will no matter how much money I have.”
“Oh, I get what you are saying,” Eleanor said. “Fools just do foolery at the level they can afford it.”
“That's it,” Glendella said. “It's not a money problem. It's a who are you problem.”
Eleanor considered this.
“I think you are right,” she said. “Well, hopefully, Cousin Croesus doesn't know how to be a bankrupt fool, so he will have a chance to learn to do better, or at least either go to the gym or put a bit more on, because you're not supposed to be out here looking like you are developing more than we will soon.”
“Like I said,” Glendella said, “that's a life, Eleanor. This doesn't just happen on Uppity Foolery Watch. He needs to change his life. He needs to get saved.”
