Let me ask something.... Imagine you haven't eaten properly in two days...Things are hard, your account balance is not smiling at you and you honestly don't know where the next meal is coming from... Then someone shows up with bags of rice, foodstuff and some money but there is a condition you never expected... they want to record everything... They want to film your face, your reaction, your tears and probably the moment you say, "God bless you, sir!"
Later that evening, you discover that your suffering has been uploaded to social media... Thousands of people have watched it, the comments are full of praise for your benefactor and people are calling them a kind-hearted person but you are sitting there wondering whether they helped you because they genuinely cared or because they needed content for their page...
What would you do?
Honestly, this question is not as simple as it sounds, especially in Nigeria... We have all seen videos of people distributing food, paying hospital bills, giving money to struggling families or surprising people with gifts... Sometimes, these acts of kindness genuinely change lives and I don't think recording charity automatically makes it bad..
Social media can be useful for raising awareness, attracting donations, encouraging other people to help and showing what an organisation is doing with the resources entrusted to it...
A video of someone receiving help might even inspire another person to support a family in need but there is a difference between documenting an act of kindness and turning somebody's pain into entertainment.... Sometimes, the person receiving help is expected to cry, kneel, dance, shout or give an emotional speech before the camera. The more dramatic the reaction, the more attention the video attracts and that is where I begin to have a problem.
Why should someone have to expose their deepest struggles before they can receive assistance?
Why should a person who needs money for surgery have to explain their entire family history to strangers on the internet?
Why should somebody who has lost everything have to stand in front of a camera and look completely broken before people believe they deserve help?
There is something uncomfortable about making people prove how much they are suffering before offering them relief...
Now, let us bring this closer to everyday Nigerian reality... Imagine a father who cannot afford his child's hospital bills... The child needs treatment urgently and the family has exhausted every option available to them... Someone offers to pay the bill but they want to record the moment and share it online... Will the father refuse because the person might be chasing clout???... I honestly don't think we can judge that decision easily.
When you are comfortable, it is easy to talk about dignity, privacy, and principles. But when you are desperate, your priorities can change.
A parent watching their child suffer may not care about becoming a trending topic. They may simply want their child to survive.
A mother struggling to feed her children may accept food from someone whose intentions she doesn't fully trust because hunger does not wait for you to investigate somebody's character and I cannot blame them for that.... Sometimes, survival comes before pride.
If I genuinely needed the assistance, I would probably accept it, provided the conditions were safe and reasonable.. I would not reject food, medical assistance or money that could solve an urgent problem simply because the person helping me might benefit from the publicity but accepting help should not mean surrendering every part of my privacy.... There should be room to say, "Thank you for helping me, but please don't record my face," or "You can share the donation without exposing my personal situation.".. If someone genuinely wants to help, I believe they should at least consider those boundaries and Of course, I understand that not everybody will agree with me. Some people might argue that if the benefactor is using their own money, they should be allowed to document what they do with it.
I can understand that perspective too, especially when the videos are used to encourage donations or demonstrate transparency but I still believe the person receiving assistance deserves a voice in how their story is presented.
Does the Motive Really Matter?.... This is the part I find most interesting.
Suppose two people help the same struggling family... The first person helps quietly and never tells anyone... The second person records the donation, uploads it online, gains a million views, attracts new followers, and possibly makes money from the attention but both people provide the same amount of food and money... Is the second person's charity less valuable?
In terms of the immediate result, the family still receives the assistance they desperately need.. The money can still pay hospital bills. The food can still feed hungry children. The school fees can still keep a child in class.. Those benefits are real, regardless of what motivated the giver.
However, motives matter when the desire for attention begins to influence how the recipient is treated.
If the person helping me humiliates me, exaggerates my suffering, makes false claims about my situation, or uses my personal information without my consent, then the problem goes beyond simply chasing clout... The help may solve one problem while creating another.
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