scrobble.life
Emotions & Feelings

Am I just extremely old-fashioned?

Increasingly, in recent years, I've met a lot of couples who met online. And I don't just mean through dating apps, I don't really believe in those, and also, I think they're becoming quite common place. 'Cause like ten years ago even, it would've been a wild thing to go out with a stranger from an app, but now it seems a lot of the couples that I know just, that's how they meet. So it sort of becomes impressive when they don't, when they met through other, more natural ways.

Anyway, that's not what's bugging me now. Rather, it's everywhere else online. Because these dating apps are meant to function locally at least, but with the Internet, you can meet anyone from anywhere, and I'm knowing more and more people who do that. Who meet someone in Europe or the US or wherever else across the Globe (or maybe not that far, but still pretty far) and just entertain the possibility of an actual relationship.

WhatsApp Image 2025-04-01 at 21.16.57.jpeg Love doesn't think.

I find I'm quite old-fashioned, to my own shock, on that front. Because for me, for a long time, it was just "oh, they live in a different country, I guess that's that". And I've been struck before to realize that that wasn't a problem for the other person. I was quite close with someone last year, American, and for me that was just impossibly far so that was that. That was as far as it was going to go, and it took me an embarrassingly long time to understand that that person thought it was a possibility, that him inviting me to come visit wasn't just talk, he meant it. I was shocked. And kinda frightened, to be honest.

And as I move, and as I meet more people, I'm starting to question that increasingly. Think, well, I don't really believe it's very likely that the few right people who are gonna be genuinely right for you in this life are all gathered together in the same country at the same time, right? So why the mental block, I wonder? Is it just how I was raised? I mean, for the formative years of my life, we didn't have a computer or a phone, let alone the possibility of meeting someone online and thinking they were a potential mate. That was just out of the park, and yet, I know a lot of people doing it. A lot of people older than myself, too. People in their 40s who obviously lived without all this stuff a lot longer than I did.

Th weird thing, they travel these great distances, and they end up happy, too. Like, I expect them to end up in small bits inside a suitcase, but I'm starting to feel like that's a minority view.

Maybe it's an Eastern European thing, but then again, I've known people here do it as well, so.

This is a bit of a rambly post, but my mind's not fully here I guess. I think what I'm getting at is, what's your view on this whole thing? Cause I like you people on here, you're all pretty sensible. And maybe that's just the point. You're all Internet crazies too and I kinda like you and trust you. So how does that work?

There's a part of me that thinks it's just technology moving so freaking fast, our brains can't keep up with it and it creates a sort of cognitive dissonance in some of us. Maybe.

What do you think about Internet relationships? Especially becoming real relationships? Do you have those sort of cases in your life? Are you as surprised as I am? Are you old-fashioned or would you fly out to meet someone you met online? Would you fall in love with someone who lives in a different country maybe somewhere really far away? Just shooting questions out here. I don't really know why myself.

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Comments · 9

  • @verdesmeralda(73)· 508d

    The truth is that I myself use websites to meet potential partners, it has gone both well and badly, just now I'm dating someone I met on a page and everything is going great, we are both very happy, however, I was always careful not to interact with people from other countries for that purpose, in fact I closed my search to people from my same city, even being in the same country and nearby cities and for me it was a reason to let it go.

  • @techcoderx(67)· 509d

    Personally I have never used dating apps and will never touch them. Besides the low success rate, a highly overlooked issue is the amount and kind of personal information they have and what they do with it. To me they are all shady businesses at best.

    My entire adult life has been on Hive, that is pretty much the only way I have any chance of meeting someone.

  • @thebighigg(78)· 509d

    I met my ex-wife online back in 2005, and we were married for many years and I got a wonderful son out the deal. Even though the relationship didn't last, good things did come from it. You can meet people from all over the world, but taking that step to "meet" is a huge one. Especially when you live in different countries and continents.

    I think the most important thing before making that leap is to do a thorough background check on the person. There are too many criminals and crazy people out there to not have any idea what you are walking into. Then again I don't trust people easily. But when dealing with someone you met online you can never be too careful. Just my two cents anyway!

  • @ericvancewalton(81)· 509d

    I met a woman in 1994 from Minnesota online when I was still living in Ohio and ended up moving 800 miles from my family to start a new life with her. That relationship ended after a decade but, exactly thirty years later, I've never left Minnesota. The decision was a huge double-edged sword for me. It didn't weigh on me as much when I was younger but it does now. I've built a decent life but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have some regret. I've grown in ways that I wouldn't have if I would have stayed in Ohio, I realize that. Even after every effort to stay close, the years away have caused my family and I to drift in some ways. I don't feel like I'm part of my nieces and nephews lives as much as I'd like to be. I missed a lot of moments with my parents too. For a variety of reasons the visits are one-sided, I'm the one always traveling there. The realization of this causes me some sadness. Everything comes with a price and I think we just have to ask ourselves if it's worth it.

  • @george-dee(75)· 510d

    A lot has changed about relationships and I believe the internet helped many people's dreams come to reality. During the early days of the internet here, we had an app called 2go and I think it basically works just in Africa.

    I was active there and made a few friends which could have led to something intimate if I had allowed it. Back then I felt like meeting people online isn't enough to start something serious but as time passed, I started seeing testimonies.

    Although there were people who got into trouble for thinking they can make things real while some succeeded. During my registry, I met a couple and the man came from Germany just to get married.

    My wife had a little chat with asking out of curiosity how they met and she said it started with an online chat.

    The internet has made a lot of things possible and for me, it doesn't bother me since I never looked forward to an online relationship becoming a reality. Plus, I don't think you are old fashioned, you just don't think relationship works that way.

  • @harbiter(71)· 510d

    For all my life I had relationships built on weekends because of distance and I'm so tired of it. And now that I've finally found a good job and my space and my habits, it's even harder to move away. I'd like so much to find someone closer to me, but at the same time I've become more picky and now it's really really hard to find someone. It's always been hard for me, and now it's harder. I'm quite resigned to loneliness

  • @mobbs(75)· 510d

    I met my wife via Tinder! Been together 4 happy years now I think, married 1 and a bit. It played to my extremely introverted personality, cause otherwise I would be single and alone forever, guaranteed. And it's not like I'm particularly ugly or have an ugly personality. I just had zero ways of meeting anybody other than routes I'd rather die than take, such as in a pub or... a friend of a friend.

    That being said, I certainly got lucky. She worked 10 metres from my home so I immediately cut out the middleman and surprise met her outside the building after only a few days (creepy? I dunno but it worked).

    I knew for a long time that the dating app mechanism itself was a dangerous tool, and when I came across this woman who was clearly not of that type, I had to do things the traditional way.

    I also think it speaks to a larger problem of globalism. We see cultural elements infecting other cultures, diluting them into nothing, and the only thing that's left standing is an economic zone. Americanisms infect the UK like you wouldn't believe, it's depressing. We even had Black Lives Matter protests even though it makes zero sense in the context of the UK, where 1 black person died at the police hands over the last decade, which is proportionally fewer than white people lol.

    Race isn't so much an issue there as the US. It's actually far more about class and religion. We just don't have this race obsession. Yet, it seeped in anyway, defying all logic.

    Back regarding dating - it's hard enough maintaining a successful relationship between any two people even if they're from your village with the same beliefs, culture, family structure, education, language and so on.

    When you start dating with a pool of 'the entire world', it definitely makes it much harder work for even the most straight-forward couple. Lord knows me and the wife have had to deal with some tricky cultural walls. We get through but it can easily end others. So yeah, internet dating ain't wise. I just got lucky

  • @fieryfootprints(74)· 510d

    What do you think about Internet relationships?

    Like I said in the past for me this didn't work out. Either the girl I liked did not like me enough. Or perhaps I rushed things too much by asking her to date me without ever seeing her in person. I think that internet/ international thing can work but I was nowhere near to success. Perhaps had I been rich or /and more handsome, things would have worked differently.

  • @hivebuzz(74)· 510d

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