#psychology

Little Ru on Risks and Expectations

It seems like risk-taking is an important part of people’s lives. It could even be part of one’s personality. For example, some people like taking risks while others don’t. I would say that my friend Timur (the cat) is a risk-avoider. He tries to avoid me all the time and I have to chase him all over the yard. He thinks that I am a risk.

I was very surprised to find out that there are whole nations of risk takers and risk avoiders. The people who live in my country are not keen on taking risks. Just the opposite to them, the Swedish for example kind of like the uncertainty that follows risk-taking. If you would like to know about your nation, you can check it out here.

To be honest with you, I am not sure what risks are yet. I guess I am too young to know if something is risky. I just do things. Sometimes, in the middle of a game, Mommy says to me “No-no”. So, I figured out that I need to say “No-no” when I do certain things. Like throwing my toys through the balcony. Yesterday, I threw the lemon squeezer and I said “No-no”. I am a quick learner!

Maybe when you take risks you learn?

Three days ago Mommy took me to an expedition in the small forest nearby. We were looking for mushrooms and she was considering the risk of taking some home. She told me that she knew that these mushrooms are safe to eat because they don’t have a poisonous double here. However, in the end, she just sighed and said that she cannot take them home because after having me she is not that risk-taker anymore. Not that she was ever a huge risk-taker. But she liked to pick penny buns once.

This is an old penny bun, which Mommy found in the forest some years ago. When she was braver and more stupid.

I guess this is something that is important when you are up to take a risk. You should never be stupid. Risk-taking doesn’t equal being stupid. I suppose that according to Mommy picking mushrooms when you have a child to take care of is a stupid thing and an unnecessary risk-taking.

Mommy and Daddy back in their glory days of being simply stupid. These must be their beloved mountains.

Although Mommy avoided being stupid about the mushrooms, she took a risk when she didn’t apply any insect repellant on me. So, I was bitten by a tick. I guess going to the forest was a risk after all.

And here is another thing. I wouldn’t say that I am particularly a forest-fan. Actually, I don’t care if I am in the forest, or at the beach, or in the yard, as long as there are sticks around. Usually, I find good sticks everywhere. But Mommy and Daddy take me to the forest too often because they like it and they hope that I am going to like it. And this is how parents put expectations on their children.

Another forest. And another stick. It's not the best, but it should work.

They also like the mountains. But I don’t know what are mountains yet. So, they bought me a special mountain T-shirt. Actually, they want me so badly to like forests and mountains that they bought three identical T-shirts with mountains on them. Now we have the same T-shirts! Tell me, isn’t that lame?

This is the lame T-shirt I was telling you about. They both have it, too.

I didn’t care much about the tick but unfortunately, it led to Mommy and Daddy calling my Pediatrician. And then taking me to her. I don’t like going there at all. I cried just to be sure that I will scare her away. But she seemed to be immune to my crying. She has too many children crying over there and she is used to it. I should think of another way of escaping her. Like not going to the forest anymore?

I like all kind of places. Like the washing machine. But my pediatrician office. No!

Maybe Mommy shouldn’t have taken me to the forest and this was an unnecessary risk. However, this means that they shouldn’t take me to the beach because a wasp stung me last summer. And the yard is not much safer. How am I supposed to chase my friend Timur The Cat if I am not allowed to go to the yard?

Here is one of the mushrooms Mommy and I found. My little friend is exploring it.

Nooo! You can’t live properly if you try to avoid risks at any cost. And you shouldn’t be stupid when you take risks.

I don't know what Mommy finds about these mushrooms. My sticks are so much prettier!

So what now? Am I a risk-taker? I don’t know, I am still not sure what risks are yet. Sometimes I cry when I do some things, sometimes I laugh… I guess risks make you cry sometimes or make you happy and you are never sure what is going to be this time. But you hope for the best. What else could you do?

Images: My archive. Use only with permission.

Comments · 6

@crypto.piotr(65)· 2618d
Dear @insight-out

I just visited your account to see if you published anything new only to realize that you seem to give up on Steemit? :(

Hope you're not done with this platform yet.

Yours, Piotr
@steemitboard(66)· 2632d
Congratulations @insight-out! You received a personal award!

Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 1 year!
_{You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking}

Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:

The Steem community has lost an epic member! Farewell @woflhart!
SteemitBoard - Witness Update
Do not miss the coming Rocky Mountain Steem Meetup and get a new community badge!

You can upvote this notification to help all Steem users. Learn how here!
@erh.germany(68)· 2637d
I have enjoyed this new contribution from Ru very much. Also, I was reading your dialogue with @roleerob with great interest:)

What you say about taking risks and the typology you associate with it, of course, encourages me to think about the construction of cultural characteristics of a nation. I tend to put any quality attributed to people under a constructivist perspective, because people per se tend to seek identification.

How to identify a cultural heritage has to do with historiography and the religion from which we come. Christian work ethics has certainly shaped the much quoted Prussian view of work of us Germans. Broken down to the individual human being, however, I think the richness of facets is much greater than if one collectively considers a nation. Even among the Japanese, who are commonly said to have a higher loyalty to the group than to us Europeans, probably only those who live in the conviction and identification that the common good is above the welfare of the individual are so convinced. Others who question these beliefs and consciously examine the construction may think differently.

While beliefs may still produce strong constructions, I think capitalism has the same influence on all nations in terms of economies and business. Metropolises influence people's behaviour through their own structure: roads, transport routes, buildings, transshipment ports, technology, etc. The morning and evening traffic jams in Los Angeles, for example, hardly give workers a chance to behave differently. In Jerusalem, Rome, Sofia and Berlin, commercial transactions, bookkeeping and contracts are made on the basis of the same principles. Airports are managed in the same way around the world.

What I want to say is that the structures we have created for our human coexistence have a great influence. The phrase "too big to fail" may well signify this.

The political decisions of nations, if you ask me, are often determined by strong individuals who feel and act against the mainstream. Perhaps five percent of a population are able to break away from their prevailing constructivist convictions and offer new narratives that appear innovative.

For me it is like this: the collective beliefs such as "he who does not work shall not eat" or "idleness is the beginning of all vice" contain very contradictory views. I know you are also inclined to see both aspects of a statement: The true in it and the problematic.

I recently had a fresh parent couple, an Asian and a Dutchman. The woman said to her man that she found that he would intervene too quickly in a situation concerning the one-year-old child and his interactions with other babies. I had once read that Asian mothers intervene much less quickly than European mothers and so I offered this construction to the couple.

It is said that Asian mothers let a situation go as long as they don't see any real danger. But what "danger" actually means to one does not mean to the other. When toddlers throw sand in a sandbox, a German mother may quickly intervene and tell her child that one should not do such a thing, while an Asian mother only intervenes when a child starts crying. The one tends to avoid a danger, the other goes with it. I prefer to go with the flow and observe the outcome of a situation rather than to intervene too quickly. Mostly, nothing harmful happens while children explore their environment. Avoidance is connected to the unwillingness to have to deal with harm (crying or injured children).

There is an example of a Maasai mother who, in order to settle the dispute between her two children over a piece of bread, breaks the piece of bread in two and hands it to the older of the two children. This child looks at both pieces in his hand and then hands one over to his younger sibling.

A European mothers does not do that. She breaks the bread and gives it to the children herself. This novelty of enabling children to leave a decision that they can make at the age of three or four to their children is evidence of a way that we Europeans do not know. This may then be traced back to the aspect of "power distance", but then I see that with a score of 35 for the Germans this statement cannot be true. The authority that decides how the pieces of bread are distributed, from above, testifies to an inherent habit of regulating things from above and contradicts the score value.

While one believes that we Germans are a Power Distance people, I would say that my perception tells me something different when I am in conversations with friends and acquaintances or colleagues. There is often a demand for a "strong hand", an expression that was coined in the early 2000s by our SPD Chancellor Gerhard Schröder, as much as my memory does not deceive me. The hierarchies in many public institutions are still strong and the individualist would wither there miserably. So it is probably quite good that some areas are run traditionally, while others break with tradition.

To deal with the paradoxes and contradictions and to move calmly in this field of tension is my appeal not only to others, but also to myself.

As interesting as such typologies are, they are sometimes controversial, not because they are completely wrong, but because they stir up prejudice, especially if you catch people on the wrong foot and use characteristics as weapons. Have you ever heard someone shout, "Oh, how wonderful, that's typical of you! How beautiful, your helpful nature has saved the situation! LOL We often use typologies in a negative sense and say: "Typical. Once again you have pulled yourself out of the affair!

As you can see, I found your article very inspiring and had a lot to say about it. You often would have seen me smile because I found the pictures of Ru so touching and I felt strongly reminded of my son at that age. What a wonderful time! Continue along in your quest to show him mountains and forests. :))
@steemitboard(66)· 2639d
Congratulations @insight-out! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

You got more than 1000 replies. Your next target is to reach 1250 replies.

_{You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking} _{If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP}

You can upvote this notification to help all Steem users. Learn how here!
@c-squared(61)· 2642d

This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.
@c-squared runs a community witness. Please consider using one of your witness votes on us here
@roleerob(71)· 2642d
Loved this latest post in your "Little Ru" series @insight-out. What a treasure and blessing to be able to enjoy our little ones learning about the "big, wide world" all around them. Little Ru is fortunate to have you and your husband as his parents.

Lots and lots I could write in response to some of your key points, but ... Likely it would end up being a post. On your post ... 😉

I think I'll just summarize by saying how important it is to allow our children to experience risky situations. It is absolutely essential to this father that I elected do so with mine. Which was modeled for me by my parents ... A legacy for which I will always be grateful.

Taking that chance, do we know how allowing our children to enter into what may prove to be "harm's way" will turn out? No, we do not know, but we "walk by faith" ...

Have a great day "over there!"

P.S. Nominated this post for one of the orgs for which I somehow managed to be deemed worthy of being a curator. Likely you have another @curie award winner here. Nice work! 👍

	The Steem community has lost an epic member! Farewell @woflhart!
	SteemitBoard - Witness Update
	Do not miss the coming Rocky Mountain Steem Meetup and get a new community badge!