As I write this post, I will admit one thing, I have tried and I am tired. I am not just tired, I am exhausted. I have reached my limits and I doubt I can go any further. But then again I can’t remain here, so I must go forward. Not just because I want to but because I owe it to myself to not give up. Am I hoping for something, hell yes, if I wasn’t I would not have cared a dime about putting in the work. Is what I am hoping for achievable, hell yes. Is it within my reach oh yes it is, and I will keep trying until I get it somehow because if I do not get it somehow, I will end up birthing children who will struggle like I am doing now and by then it will even be 10 times the burden I now carry. It is not easy to keep moving on, but I know it is even more dangerous to exist while life goes on. It is more scary to watch my dreams fade away while others realize theirs. It’s no longer about motivation, it is about survival.
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Just like me, billions of others are facing this too, perhaps even you reading this post is one of them. And to be honest we struggle to the point that sometimes we forget why we are doing it but only understand that stopping might mean an entire week would be lost. We keep moving not because of purpose but because of survival and necessity and in the midst of it all we might even find purpose. Sometimes even when we find purpose we realize that survival might mean giving up on that purpose not so we can survive but so that others can and this is just the way of life, there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. I think it safe to say here that life can be cruel, and living can be intoxicating, but then again, there is a beauty about life that beats all the pain we feel most of the time.
Sometimes it could be hope, hope to one day put smiles on the faces of those who love and believe in us. Other times it could be peace, the peace of just coming home to a loving family or the anticipation of knowing that someone special is waiting for you and with all the stress, you know when you see them, then all is well. These are the little things that keep us going. Sometimes it’s purpose and for those who can not find purpose, they find something close. For me, it is hope even though I have found purpose, that hope is what sustains it. The hope that someday somehow I will put smiles on the faces of those that believe in me. It’s not easy I must admit, especially when you have to carry burdens more than you can bare, but what can we do but carry those burdens with a smiling face.
THIS IS MY RESPONSE TO HIVE LEARNER'S PROMPT FOR WEEK 235 EPISODE 2
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