I never had it figured and from my previous life experiences, I still won't have everything figured out before I die. It's part of why they say life is full of uncertainties. Where there is certainty, it comes to a fast end and always very temporary. The uncertainty of life is what makes it valuable, fun and lesson full to live in. It's how it should be.
Sadly, we've always lived in a world where we are expected to figure out the live that we are all just living for the first time. We have people going around looking like they've had life figured out or that's the message others read into them trying to figure things out for themselves, the cycle continues and people live in some kind of doubt.
I remember how I always thought being a student meant having all good grades and getting into the high education level and continue like that, becoming an adult who is free to do whatever she wants and having my own family eventually with everything put in place. Those were good but I was not made to understand the downsides.
My life have been nothing short of everyday figuring out what next moments, every decision I made whether consciously or unconsciously was taking me to the life that I have now. I may have some regrets but I remind myself that I can get it right from here, I can do better from now and I continue to push and move forward positively.
It could sound upsetting to some when they say, many of us have no idea what we are actually doing but that's a truth that we must all come to terms with. On the long term, we really have no idea, we just somehow figure out each step little by little, with help or from others experience until life is over. Coming to terms with that helps a lot.
I got a question from my mentor some days ago asking me where I see myself in the next 3 years, he even reduced it from 10 to 5 years that people usually ask because he understood just how uncertain that can be for someone trying to figure out life. Shocking truth is, I still couldn't give a clear plan of where I want to be in 3 years.
I was at a health centre last week and I came across a big room filled with nursing mothers, all with their babies and waiting in line for their consultation with a doctor in that department. I saw that picture and what came to my mind was, I'll also get to this stage one day but somehow it hasn't crossed my mind to try figuring it out yet.
A reminder I give myself in the midst of all the constant push to figure my life out is, life comes in stages and like my friend will always say "When we get there, we will cross the bridge" because we do see life as a road with many bridges, we keep crossing until we live no more. So it's not fair to keep expecting someone to figure out life but it's like a push for the wise.
Image used is mine.
