Today was graduation at my school once again and honestly, I barely knew any of them this time around. I mean, I knew a handful but none of them were in my classes this year since they basically did them all and they generally can't repeat.
So it's been a while since I had even seen most of 'em. But there were two exception. A kid called Jason was the only 12th grader who took my classes, both the Band and AP Music theory, after doing my guitar class last year.
He is remarkable in that he's essentially the Chinese version of me at that same age. More handsome, and more popular. He actually has a girlfriend. I had an online one but hardly the same thing when I was walking around basically unable to speak to girls in real life.
(C7/F#... gross)
He's quiet, nervous on stage, and plays all the same songs on guitar as I once did. And I don't mean the classics all guitarists play. I mean obscure riffs like Mr Crowley by Ozzy Osbourne. NOBODY KNOWS THAT SONG. But this teenage Chinese kid is playing it all by himself in the hall during his lunch break? Astonishing.
He's also much more advanced in music than I ever was at that time. I mean I was significantly better at guitar. Arguably I was better back then compared to today, as I haven't even picked up an electric guitar for god knows how many years. I only play to the ability I need to teach.
Theory wise, he blows me out the water.
Anyway, the second notable character is possibly my all time favourite student who already graduated last year to Berklee College of Music. She came back to Shanghai a while ago and came to say hi to me at school (presumably among others) and then she attended the Graduation this year for her friend, too.
We caught up for a bit, had some laughs about her life over there and her upcoming dread of moving out of student accommodation and into an actual normal rental, and a usual reminder of keeping in touch.
My band this year absolutely aced the performance - with Jason on the guitar - with almost no mistakes, no random sound issues and a solid start and finish. They did me proud!
The problem I've been having, however, is just how fast the time went since the last graduation. I swear it was faster than old people tend to tell you. I was so unsure that I had to double check that I wasn't thinking of a different, mid-year event that maybe happened 3-4 months ago.
But no, it was a full year and that's pretty scary. I'm now 39 years old, and even a graduate is a few years less than half my age. When I think back to me going to University, that was half a lifetime ago and then some?? Dear God. It's really quite insane. Struggling to get my head around it.
I see people's faces, family members and old friends, who have aged, well, perhaps not as well as me? I guess I don't look like a baby anymore but I'm not grey, wrinkled or bald. And when I see these people - some the same age as me - it just dumps some deep thoughts that I try my best to shake away before I get caught in it!
It's easy to feel impatient about life moving forward and goals that should have been accomplished by now aren't accomplished. For me right now, I have too many complicated and maybe not so great things that have to come and pass, but I find more peace of mind by focusing on one at a time, and the rest just have to wait.
The main thing that has held me back in life and all endeavours, is my health. My weight, my posture, my strength, and lack of flexibility. I stumbled through life struggling in ways I just got used to. Slowly adding kilograms to my heaviest ever weight while things like getting out of taxis and bringing a mug to my mouth or picking a thing up became increasingly achey.
I had lost so, so many romantic opportunities, travel experiences, and loads more, because I squandered the life I should have been having behind these gates. Just accepted it, that's what life is.
Until I decided that wasn't true. And so I've been on this journey CONSISTENTLY for almost a year now and the transformation has been substantial. Everything above, and my heart rate, has just seen radical improvements.
Students are a reminder of the fleeting time we have left, and the elderly getting older are a warning on top.
I have this itchy feeling that I'm never doing enough for my age - mid life crisis, I guess? - but I need to stay focused. Transform myself physically first. My brain is already good enough as it is lol.
Perhaps just a few months from now I can consider it a landmark where I can look back at my slow path of failures in life have lead to something decently successful!
Then I can face all the annoying, unpleasant things in my future with a bit more of a confident stride.
Well, 3-day weekend for now here. Workout, then chill!
