I'm just not sure how long I can do this.

This was the MRI report. I don't know what it means. At all. Im scared to look it up to be honest. Im not sure if moving around as I do, however so infrequent, if its something I shouldbe doing. I cant help but want to live, dance, move, breathe, eat, run, make love .....

You get so trappedby your own mind when you go through these things. We all go through, difficult, hard personal times. Ive just been stuck for so long. I cant bear it anymore.

I feel like I'm going to be put through these medical hoops forever...why not do it with contrast to begin with???? Why put me through this first step only to then make me go back and get one with contrast. Why all the games.

I think these doctorsare cowards to not think with their eyes, ears. Brain, sight, touch. They can see the detachmentand you ordered an MRI without the contrast?? Really?? The part that I need so they can see the whole picture???

I may go insane y'all. I can't take this obvious lack of integrity...because they aren't idiots.

Let's face it, I've been the idiot in assuming these doctors dont know shit. The fact is they do know. That's the worst part. They are all sell outs today. You're playing with the time I have left on this earth and I just dont fucking appreciate it.

So anyone know what that thing I tore?? Im scared to Google and obsess over it.