It is true that everyone has a past, and some even revisit the memories of their past from time to time, but the truth is that you cannot live there forever. A lot of people have made mistakes in the past, experienced disappointing moments, missed opportunities, and taken some very wrong steps that they wish they could change. Sometimes these memories of the past could follow someone to the present, and keep haunting them, and reminding them of what they would have done better, or about what went wrong. This might also trigger a fear within them of what would happen next. But the truth is that if you truly want to move forward, then you have to settle and make peace with your past.
Image from Pexels
Settling and making peace with your past does not mean that you should pretend or deny that the past did not happen. It may not also make you to forget who hurt you in the past, the pain you experienced, your mistakes, and the disappointing moments. Rather it is accepting that what has happened cannot be changed, so you have to stop it from controlling the rest of your life. No matter how hard you try, it is practically impossible for you to go back in time and correct or undo what you had done. Once a moment is passed, then there is nothing you can do about it. The only way out is to move forward.
You have to understand that there are things you cannot change or undo. For example, if you say some harsh words to someone, even if you apologise and feel sorry about it, the person might still be remembering those words. Or maybe you missed an opportunity in the past, it may not present again in the same way. Or when you take a particular decision, the efforts may stick with you for a very long time. Or maybe someone who walked away from your life, you cannot go back in time and stop them from walking away. You cannot rewrite or edit yesterday. But you have a choice to determine what yesterday will mean to your today and to your tomorrow.
It is sad that a lot of people punish themselves over the mistakes they made long time ago. They keep asking themselves if they could have done something different. They keep sulking and wishing that what happened should not have happened. But what they fail to understand is that constantly replaying the past memories in their brain will not change the outcome. Rather it will drain the energy that they would have invested into building a better future. What you can do with the past is to learn from it. Learn the lessons, forgive yourself, accept the necessary responsibilities, and then move forward. You may not have had a choice of what happened in the past, but you can choose how it will affect the present.
Image from Pexels
It is also worthy to note that not every chapter of your life should remain open. Some can come to an end, so as to make room for the next phase of your life to be opened. You may not know what the next phase of your life might bring until you close the last chapter. I remember a friend of mine who was laid off from his office during the lockdown of the Covid period because they could not afford to pay them. Instead of sulking over the dismissal, he picked up himself and did something amazing. With the money he saved during his period of working with the company, he started up a business. Fastforward to this present time, which is about 5 years from that time, his business has grown beyond his state, and he is doing very well. If he did not leave that company, he would not have known the possibilities that lie in front of him.
You have to learn to make peace and settle with your past. This includes forgiving yourself and also forgiving others. By forgiving the people who have hurt you in the past, you are not justifying what they did, neither are you planning to take them back into your life, but it means that you are not carrying the weight of their offences everywhere you go. No matter what happened in the past, it should not negatively influence your present and your future. You have to understand that there is still life beyond the past, so look forward to the future with hope, and make it count.
Thanks for reading
