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Smiles Outside, Struggles Within

Theme-:"MY QUIETEST BATTLE"

What is a struggle you faced that nobody knew about?
Image is AI

We often put on a smile on the outside for people to see, but underneath that smile is a weight of sadness that people do not see. People ask us how we are doing and we reply with “fine” but oftentimes we are not really fine as we claim to be.

I’ve been in that position a couple of times, but I’ll just share one that is particularly memorable. One of the toughest and quietest battle I faced was in my first year in school. I got a call my older brother telling me that our dad was struck with a serious illness and was being hospitalized. As far as I could remember knowing my dad, this was the first time of me hearing that he was admitted to the hospital.

At first I thought it was something that would just phase off within a month or there about. But one month turned into two months, two months turned into three, three turned into six, and that was how it kept on going without any significant progress.

I was just in 100 level in college, and at that point my dad was the only sponsor I had. With this unexpected turn of events, life at school became a serious struggle. I had to take on jobs starting from my first year in college while trying to cope with my studies so that I could put some bread on the table and also sort out some of my school needs and levies in my department.

The first job I took on was that of an assistant in a computer shop which did typing and printing of documents, photocopying, and other related stuffs. Most times when people came to do their works, and looking at me; seeing how young and tender I was they were tempted to ask if I was a student and I would tell them I was. They would then ask why I was at a shop instead of in the classroom. Some of them had this notion that I loved money rather too much.

I remember a staff in the school who came to the shop regularly to do some of his works. One day he asked me if my parents did not support me in school and I told him they do. He then asked me why I was doing such job instead of focusing on my studies which my parents sent me to school for. 

At least hundred other people; including the customers who came to do their works in the shop and my colleagues who were aware that I was doing that work, probably wondered the same thing. But none of them really knew what exactly I was going through. I am not the type to bother other people about my problems because in most cases all I am likely to get in return is sympathy. Another reason why I don’t really bother people with my problems is because I believe every other persons have their own problems that they are dealing with.

But I refused to be defeated by the struggle I was going through at that time. I made sure to find anything decent that I could do with my hands and not let my father’s situation serve as an excuse or obstacle to not achieve what other of my mates were achieving. I was privileged to get hooked on to better job opportunities and with time I began to take care of my needs comfortably and even extend help to my parents at home. It was quite a battle but I eventually emerged victorious.

Sadly, my dad is still in that state, and in as much as I wish things would have happened differently, I also learned that I may have remained at a place of comfort and not push myself if I hadn’t seen a dark side of life.

Sometimes most disappointments are indeed blessings in disguise that we may not see at first but in due time.

This is my entry for the @indiaunitedweekly contest. Feel free to participate and share your own ideas. Here’s the link for more guidelines and info

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