I think society does expect women to be strong, particularly when it comes to the roles society has traditionally assigned to them. Women are expected to be good mothers, caring wives and all that and in many cases, they are expected to be the people who hold the family together. They are expected to nurture and keep things running even when they are dealing with difficulties of their own. It almost seems as though being strong is not just something women are encouraged to be, it is something they are expected to do as part of their everyday responsibilities.
Talking about motherhood, for instance. A mother is expected to be patient with her children and even these days shes expected to provide for them, guide them and make sacrifices for their wellbeing. Even when she is exhausted or going through personal difficulties, their is often an expectation that she will continue to show up for her children. The same applies to marriage. Women are often expected to be understanding wives who support their husbands through difficult periods, maintain the home and make compromises for the sake of the relationship. These expectations can become particularly demanding when nobody stops to ask whether the woman herself is receiving the same level of care and support she is expected to give.
The interesting thing is that society often praises women for being strong without necessarily considering what that strength costs them. A woman who endures difficult circumstances without complaining is described as courageous and a woman who raises children despite having little support is admired for her resilience and dont get me wrong while there is nothing wrong with appreciating these qualities, I think we sometimes romanticise women's struggles so much that we forget they are human beings who also get tired and overwhelmed.
Their is also the expectation that women should know how to handle their emotions. They are expected to be patient when people disappoint them, remain calm when things become difficult and find a way to carry on even when they are hurting. But when a woman finally reaches her breaking point, she may be described as weak or incapable of handling pressure or they may say she is doing too much or that women are too emotional, when in the real sense she has been bottling up her emotions so as not to seem too emotional and conform to what society expects of her. It is almost as though she is allowed to struggle only as long as her struggles do not inconvenience anyone else.
I also think there is a difference between encouraging women to be independent and expecting them to manage everything by themselves. Independence is a good thing and in this sense women should have opportunities to pursue their ambitions, make their own decisions and build lives that do not depend entirely on other people. However, being independent should not mean that they must never need help, cos i think these days people seem to make a jest of the whole "independence" thing. A woman can be capable of taking care of herself and still want someone to take care of her occasionally, like its not that difficult to understand.
I think we need to create an environment where women are allowed to be vulnerable without feeling that they have failed the society or those that expect certain things from them or should i say certain standards from them. They should be able to say they are tired, pursue their own interests and sometimes put themselves first without being made to feel guilty.
