I used to think courage was standing in front of your fears with a straight face and not backing down.. I imagined it as someone standing in front of a difficult situation with a strong face, saying, “I can handle this.” but real life has taught me something different..
Sometimes courage is not looking strong at all.
Sometimes courage is waking up the next morning when yesterday completely drained you.... Sometimes it is getting out of bed, taking your bath, answering your phone, going to work, and pretending you have everything under control when deep down, you are still trying to figure things out.
Life has a funny way of testing people... One moment, everything seems to be going according to plan, then suddenly, something changes.... A plan fails, Money becomes tight, a relationship changes, an opportunity disappears, Someone you trusted disappoints you, you make a decision you regret, or sometimes, nothing specific even happens, you just wake up one morning and realise you are tired of trying.
I think those moments are the real test.. “Do I have enough in me to try again?”..
I have had moments when the answer wasn't a realistic "yes".... Sometimes it was more like, “I don't know... but let's see.” and strangely enough, that has been enough...
I don't always find courage because I suddenly become confident... Sometimes I find it because I have no desire to remain where I am.
There is a point where disappointment becomes exhausting.... You get tired of feeling sorry for yourself, you get tired of explaining what went wrong, you get tired of looking backwards.... So you start moving and not because everything is okay but just because staying down isn't helping either...
I have also learned that you don't always have to make a huge comeback...
Sometimes you just need a small one. Answer that email, make that phone call, apply for that opportunity, start that project again, go for the walk, try the business idea one more time, open the laptop, study another chapter, take another step...
Small things can look insignificant when you are expecting a miracle but small things are often how people rebuild their lives...
I think about this whenever I am faced with a challenge... You don't conquer it all at once... Eventually, you look back and realise you have covered a distance you didn't think you could.
There are also people who give me strength without even knowing it.
Sometimes it is seeing someone who has gone through something difficult and still manages to smile...
Sometimes it is simply remembering how many difficult situations I have already survived.... This is the most important.. We are often so focused on the problems in front of us that we forget the problems behind us..
There were things I once thought would break me but they didn't... Maybe that is where some of my courage comes from..
Not from believing that nothing bad will happen again but from knowing that if something does happen, I have survived difficult things before...
I can be scared and still continue.. I can be disappointed and still try.. I can be uncertain and still make a decision.. I can fail and still begin again...
I don't think courage means standing tall every single day.. Some days, it looks like admitting that you are not okay and some days, it is simply getting back up.... There is actually no shame in that...
Truth is, nobody knows exactly how many times they will have to start again in this life but I don't want every difficult season to convince me that my story is over.
If I fall, I want to remember that falling is not the same thing as staying down...
If I lose, I want to remember that one loss is not my entire life..
If I get tired, I want to give myself permission to rest without giving myself permission to quit and if tomorrow comes with another challenge, I hope I can face it the same way I have faced the others Just with enough courage to say.. “Okay. Let's try again.”..
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