Reflections

Doing the Undesirable

Smallsteps was out with her friends yesterday and lost her bus card, for what must be the third or fourth time. When she called to tell her mum, she was made to retrace all the places she had been (a couple shops) and ask at the info to see if it had been found. Today, after we had lunch with in-laws for Father's Day, we drove to the stores and sent her in to ask again.

No luck.

It isn't a high value item and the money charged on it can be transferred to a new card, but it is super inconvenient to have to replace, because it can't be done over the weekend and on Mondays she needs it to travel to school and then piano lessons. Instead, my wife will drive her while on her way to work, and then I will have to go into the city, replace the card at the transport place, and then get it to her when her school day ends, so she can then go to the lesson. All up, it is going to pretty much eat all the good hours of the day - for a bus card.

Such a waste of time.

I had planned to get the rest of the garden ready for winter before the snows come this week, so hopefully it doesn't kill that plan completely because it sucks to do when the weather is bad. I would have done it today, but the lunch took the daylight hours away, and yesterday I used the small window I had to change the tyres instead - because that is more important as the roads are already icy in the mornings and my wife is not a confident driver at the best of times.

It is funny how a small thing like a lost bus card can set up a chain of events that pushes everything back and makes them more difficult. It is of course the same for many cases where we think we have time, but something happens to steal that space away. I have tried to instil into Smallsteps the idea of doing things when possible, but she doesn't appreciate it yet, since the consequences are normally not paid by her, like the time for the bus card. Even now it will be done in the background of her life, so it will seem like it took no time or effort at all. If she could do it herself, I would make her.

Most of the time, she is very conscientious, so I am trying not to give her a hard time about the things that she doesn't get quite right, since she is only ten. Still, building good habits early is a blessing that we only realise when we don't have them later. I am full of bad habits that I have to fight against and if I didn't, I would have more time and energy to spend on more valuable things. We should look to automate the things that we need to do, but don't want to - like go to the gym.

I told my wife just tonight as we were heading to the gym that even though she hates it (she likes the results), she should go whether she feels like it or not, as often as possible. Go enough to make it feel weird if she doesn't go, even if when she gets there she only spends a half hour or so doing very little. Building that habit means going is easier than not going, because it is familiar. And of course, once at the gym it is very hard not to do something there, which means even if feeling unenthusiastic (is anyone ever enthusiastic to go to the gym) some gains can be made.

When it comes to what we need, we shouldn't wait until we feel like doing it.

It is a lesson that I have to keep reminding myself of, because I need many things, and don't feel like doing anything at all. But if I keep moving, keep doing the tasks on the list steadily, at least I am moving toward the things I need, even if I don't get what I want. Because there is no point getting what you want, if what you want is to do nothing.

So, I will waste half the day tomorrow because that is what I need to do, but not what I want to do. I don't want to clean up the garden either but it needs to be done, so will find time on Tuesday for it. And then there are many other things on the list that need to be done, but I don't want to do. But not doing them means they are still there to be done, while the pile gets larger and eats into the opportunity to do the more enjoyable tasks.

Such is life.

Taraz [ Gen1: Hive ]

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Comments · 13

@bozz(83)· 36m
I know how you feel about the card. Just the other weekend I spent a good part of the day replacing a power outlet that should have only taken about fifteen minutes. It ruined all my plans for the rest of the day.
@santigs(71)· 4h

It is funny how a small thing like a lost bus card can set up a chain of events that pushes everything back and makes them more difficult.

It used to be like this here also, but the metro travel companies have implemented digital versions for the cards which you can carry on your cell phone and avoid managing all the paperwork when losing the card. True, for some young teenagers you may still prefer the physical card instead of them caring a cellphone but at least you have both options now and can choose which one you use.
@christybliss(67)· 7h
You know, what the lost card did to you is what happens to many of us most times. When something just got out of place, it scatter every plan and then generate another chain of events.

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@urrirru(65)· 7h
Whenever my son forgets or loses something—whether it’s clothing, personal items, or his transit pass—I explain to him exactly how much time and money it costs me. He understands, because I point out that a portion of that time and money could have been spent on him instead. For instance, instead of having to go to the mall to replace an item of clothing, we could have gone out for sushi.
@fieryfootprints(75)· 7h
I think I only lost my bus card once. Another time I thought I lost it again but it was just stuck to my leather phone case.
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@rishehri(63)· 8h
Sometimes I have to begin despite feeling tired or unmotivated. But I also think it's important not to confuse self-discipline with forcing ourselves. I think you said you changed the tires a few posts ago...you're one step ahead.
@videoaddiction(72)· 9h
One of the hardest things in life is doing what needs to be done even when we don't feel like doing :) I think, not everything we have to do should be enjoyable.
@livinguktaiwan(81)· 10h
There's always going to be curve balls in life but we learn to work around it and soldier on.

Perhaps you can get Smallsteps a lanyard like for her bus card, that way it never leaves her or her bag and she'll never lose it again
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@seki1(71)· 13h
Building a habit of doing something you don't regularly like is totally real, especially in the gym aspect.

I have a sort of home gym and I've been faithful on it for a year plus now.

Like you told your wife it's just to have the mindset to go through it, especially if you want to or not.

The rewards are by products of the process.

The bus card misshap is quite unfortunate though 😂 In time she'll understand how such small mistakes can bring major inconveniences.
@owasco(73)· 13h

there are many other things on the list that need to be done, but I don't want to do.

Does it seem as if there are more and more of these undesired tasks to do every day than there used to be? My list is full of them, too. Call this person to clarify, send that business a check, clean a bedroom, go to a meeting. I get that stuff done early in the day as much as possible, but soon the day is all gone, no time left to do the things I do want to do.

Is that bus pass too small to keep track of? Perhaps it could be laminated or something to make it more noticeable when it's dropped? I would be very irate if I had to spend half a day on something so small! May she never lose it again!
@alfasuenos(60)· 13h
Spot on, @tarazkp. It's so true that waiting for motivation is a trap, and most days it just comes down to building habits and knocking out those boring tasks even when you don't feel like it. Those little daily hassles can throw off the whole schedule, but tackling them keeps everything moving. Great read for starting the week!

Comments · 13

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