It's very easy for some people to learn something new and very difficult for some others, let me say this in aspect of my education, see I find easy to read and understand, but when it comes to calculations, anything number related, that's when I get stuck, it has been a big bother to me for many years.
I don't know if calculations are the same for everyone, but for me, numbers don't make any sense at all, see just give me a book, a paragraph, an essay, anything with letters and I will devour it and tell you what the writer was trying to say, and sometimes what it wasn't trying to say but meant anyway – that's how comfortable I am with reading, my brain was built for it, it just flows without me forcing anything, once I read it, I do not have to go over it a second time, I don't have to struggle to understand once I read it, once it's in front of me in words, I understand it.
But numbers? Well, that's a different matter altogether, little by little l, my brain shut down the moment I start calculating because, math wasn't my favorite subject growing up, I would sit in class watching everyone get it and I would still be stuck on the first step while solving and solving and I practised, but it just never seemed to connect the way reading does.
Now this is the thing, what does both of these tell me about myself? Honestly, a lot, It says alot about me, and that we are all different, and that's okay, I used to feel like something was wrong with me, like I didn't get calculations like my other class mates, I used to compare myself to those people who found it easy to understand numbers, and think, maybe because i'm not that smart, my brain doesn't work like that, but over time, I have come to realize that nobody is the same, intelligence isn't a one size fits all thing, just because I struggle with numbers doesn't mean I'm not smart, it just means my strength lies elsewhere, and that elsewhere happens to be in words.
It also gave me patience with myself, I have learnt to not beat myself up about things I struggle with and instead focus on what I am good at, which is reading and understanding, I have decided not to be someone who's "good at everything" but instead take this route, After all, that's how life is, right? Not everything is done well by everyone.
I have learned that at the end of the day, we are not defined by our challenges and that we need to be a little bit easier on ourselves, and my ease with words and my struggle with numbers, both have taught me the same thing, you were not made to fit into a certain form, get to know yourself, accept yourself, and stop trying to fit into a mold that was never designed for you in the first place. ***
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