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‎It Hits Different When the Rules Change

‎Hello Hives, ‎ ‎There is something that really gets under my skin: when someone does something to you and expects you to just be cool with it, even though they would probably lose their mind if you did the exact same thing to them.

paulclee-life-2643192_1920.pngPixabay ‎ ‎Like, seriously? ‎ ‎Some people want understanding only when they are the ones making the mistake. When they hurt you, there is always an explanation. Maybe they were angry. Maybe they didn't mean it that way. Maybe you should just let it go. ‎ ‎But when the shoe is on the other foot, suddenly there are rules. ‎ ‎Suddenly, you are the bad person. ‎ ‎I have never really understood that kind of behavior. If something is wrong when someone does it to you, then it should still be wrong when you do it to somebody else. ‎ ‎It’s easy to say, “Don’t take it personally,” when you are not the one being hurt. ‎ ‎It’s easy to say, “Just forgive and forget,” when you are not the one whose trust was broken. ‎ ‎And it’s very easy to tell someone they are overreacting when you don't have to deal with the feelings that come after what happened. ‎ ‎I’m not saying people should not make mistakes. Of course we do. Nobody gets everything right all the time. I have made mistakes too, and there are things I wish I had handled differently. ‎ ‎But there is a difference between making a mistake and refusing to take responsibility for it. ‎ ‎If I hurt someone, I should be able to admit it. ‎ ‎If I cross a boundary, I should be willing to hear that I crossed it. ‎ ‎And if I expect people to understand me when I mess up, I should also be willing to understand them when they are hurt by my actions. ‎ ‎That is what fairness means to me. ‎ ‎You can't keep asking people to have a heart for you while refusing to have one for them. ‎ ‎Sometimes people are not asking for too much. They just want the same consideration they give to others. ‎ ‎And honestly, I think that's fair. ‎ ‎Before you do something to someone, maybe pause for a second and ask yourself, “If this was done to me, would I really be okay with it?” ‎ ‎If the honest answer is no, then maybe that's your answer right there. ‎ ‎Treat people with the same respect you expect from them. Life is already hard enough without making someone else carry pain you would not be willing to carry yourself. ‎ ‎ ‎Thanks for Reading ‎ ‎ ‎

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Comments · 1

  • Ah, maybe a narcissist?

    To give you an idea of what they are like (because I've experienced it myself) I cut a family member out of my life, which means we no longer speak. Even so, she juz can't stop commenting on conversations I have with anyone else, sometimes to the point of being hostile. It's an attempt to trigger a reaction simply because she's no longer getting any from me.

    The thing about these people is that they lack empathy and thrive on reactions. If they need attention, they drag people into arguments because someone being angry at them is better than being ignored entirely.

    Or maybe they aren't narcissists... just unaware?

    Either way, people who repeatedly and deliberately hurt us don't deserve a spot in our lives. Like you said, life is already hard, we don't need extra baggage. Accept the fact that despite communication, they still tend to hurt you. Accept the fact that they mean it (because denying it makes the burden heavier). Tell yourself you don't need to carry it.... put it down, leave it there, and move on. I believe in forgiveness and moving on... not the forgiveness we give to others, but the forgiveness and grace we give to ourselves. ❤️‍🩹