Life is full of firsts. First date. First kiss. First love. First fight. First child. First. First. First. First Mother’s Day without a mother. Except it is not. Not any longer. That was a little more than a year ago that I put those words on paper, the inner sobs wracking my soul. So, it is not the first.
Losing your mother is such a profound kind of loss.
My sweet, beautiful mother is gone from this world; she is no more - she soared from this earth, high into the heavens. I cling to my memories. Just the thought of this day has been extremely depressing. For the very first time, I look at this day, relatively eyes wide open, in a manner of speaking. The ads scream perfume, jewelry, cards, and flowers. Buy! Buy! Buy!
But, it is not all about buying. In fact, for me, it never has been. Mother’s Day comes with a torrent of emotions that swirl around inside me like the perfect storm. It is the merger of sweet memories and regrets. My sweet, beautiful mother is gone from this world; she is no more - she soared from this earth, high into the heavens and I sit here and cling to my memories.
I have read that there are no parameters for this, losing your mother, it is a forever and ever amen, kind of journey. I have found some holidays are harder than other.
I have forced myself to not give in to this, but. instead, do something for somebody else, it does make you feel better. The first year, I brought this sweet lady in assisted living some flowers and took her to lunch downtown. Win-win. I spent time with a mother, not my own, but, no kids in attendance, so we both won.
*Holidays are always special in my house, but, I must say though, people(myself included) attach more importance and worth on those special days when in reality, every day there is someone out there grieving, and it is a hard day. By the time the actual holiday arrives, the worst is over. But, lest you think I have sunk into a pit of depression, I assure you I am fine.
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I read this yesterday and it is so, so true. “My grief on this first Mother’s Day without my mother isn’t just missing buying her a card or gift. I take comfort in remembering that she was the gift, and one I can cherish for the rest of my life.” Life will not go on the same way without my mom. If it did, it would conclude her life meant nothing and had no contribution.
I want to wish everyone a Happy Mother’s Day. May your day be filled with sunshine and happiness. Much love to you on this day and those that follow.
Thank you! Keep on Steemin'!!
And just like that, my post is done. Until next time! As always, I want to thank you for taking the time to stop by for a chat and a read!! Have a most fabulous day!
Let the sun shine in on your life So the joy may touch your soul
Thank you for visiting my post 💖 Because of you, I come back to post again and again, I am encouraged by you, for the time you take to visit, comment or even upvote. For all of these reasons, I am eternally grateful. Don't ever forget what a wonderful world we live in, people. Let's hold hands around the globe and make this earth really spin. Some days, it is not as easy to see, how wonderful it really is. Kindness counts. Wherever you go, whatever you do.
I always post this poem down at the bottom of my posts. It is one that has become so near and dear to my heart. I only post the most famous part of it, but, wanted to post it in its entirety today.
they set my aunts house on fire i cried the way women on tv do folding at the middle like a five pound note. i called the boy who use to love me tried to ‘okay’ my voice i said hello he said warsan, what’s wrong, what’s happened?
i’ve been praying, and these are what my prayers look like; dear god i come from two countries one is thirsty the other is on fire both need water.
later that night i held an atlas in my lap ran my fingers across the whole world and whispered, "where does it hurt?" it answered,
"everywhere" "everywhere" "everywhere"
warsan shire
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