For many people in Eastern Europe the fall of Berlin Wall just replaced one nightmare with another. The oppressive Communist regimes were gone making the void quickly exploited by various shady characters, resulting in rampant, growing and unstoppable crime. Those trends, “slightly” exaggerated in typical Hollywood fashion, serve as basic premise for the plot of Crazy Six, 1997 film directed by Albert Pyun. There is entire section of unnamed East European country where the absence of anything resembling law enforcement earned it a nickname “Crimeland” and began to attract criminals all over the world, finally able to engage in things that couldn’t have done anywhere else without repercussions. One of them is Billie “Crazy Six” (played by Rob Lowe), American drug addict who wants to take part in heist that, hopefully, allow him to pursue the habit till the rest of his days. He and his friends are recruited by French Arab monster “Dirty Mao” (played by Mario Van Peebles) and they steal plutonium shipment owned by Raul (played by Ice T), vicious American drug dealer. The heist succeeds but Raul knows who is responsible and all of Crazy Six’s friends start to die one by one. Crazy Six is forced to run for his life and later receives help from Anna (played by Ivana Miličević), night club singer and former addict. In the meantime, gangland war gets complicated with an arrival of Dakota (played by Burt Reynolds), Texas policeman who came to Crimeland in order to settle some personal scores.
Before being economically, politically and militarily absorbed by the West, post-Communist Europe was often portrayed as “wild”, exotic and dangerous place, and such notions existed way into 2000s, with Hostel, film which was, like this one, made on Slovakian locations, being good example. The premise of desperate Western criminals flocking there, however, looks laughable compared with the more prosaic reality of desperate criminals from Eastern Europe conquering the streets of Western cities. However, it is intriguing enough and with proper script and direction it could have served as basis for potentially interesting film. This potential can be seen in characters that look more like they came from Panic in the Needle Park than Dirty Harry. Unfortunately, Crazy Six was directed by Albert Pyun, one of the worst film makers of its time. His unique ability to turn every script into celluloid rubbish is at full display here, with plenty of shots being made in slow motion and repeated ad nauseam, merely in order to pad the running time to an hour and half. All this is followed by irritating musical score by Anthony Riparetti. Respected actors like Reynolds, Rowe, Van Peebles and Ice T at least had salary as the reason to take part in this atrocity, but audience does not.
RATING: 2/10 (-)
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