European unification is a process which is misunderstood by most Europeans and it is even less likely that it could be comprehensible to Americans. That explains why Hollywood never dealt with the subject, except in the form of minor plot details in some of its films immediately after the end of Cold War. One that came the closest of making united Europe as important part of its premise is If Looks Could Kill, 1991 action comedy directed by William Dear.
The plot begins with number of European finance ministers dying shortly after being in contact with Augustus Steranko (played by Roger Rees), chairman of European Economic Community (predecessor of today’s European Union). Blade (played by Roger Daltrey) is a British secret agent sent to protect Steranko, who is viewed as next target of mysterious assassins. He discovers that Steranko actually killed those people but, before he is able to report his findings, gets killed by Steranko’s top henchwoman Ilsa Grunt (played by Linda Hunt). British seeks help from American intelligence that sends its top secret agent, a man named Michael Corben (played by David McIlwraith). At the same time, Detroit high school student Michael Corben (played by Richard Grieco) discovers that he can’t graduate unless he gets credit from his French teacher Mrs. Gorber (played by Robin Bartlett) and decides to join her and her summer school students on the trip to France. At the airport he gets mistaken for another Michael Corben and brought to British intelligence headquarters. His attempts to claim that he is high school student cease when he is given Lotus Esprit. He goes on a mission to investigate while being pursued by assassins. He also finds an attractive young woman named Mariska (played by Gabrielle Anwar) who is actually Blade’s daughter and wants to avenge her father.
During the time of production, Richard Grieco was considered something of teen idol thanks to his roles in popular television shows like 21 Jump Street and Booker. Film written by Darren Star, author of youth-oriented television hits like Beverly Hills, 92110, seemed like a good project for him. Star based his script on “high concept” based on average American teenager mistaken for elite covert operative, which allowed plenty of opportunity for spoofing James Bond films. Some of those jokes work, but many work, making If Looks Could Kill inferior to Austin Powers films, another and much more successful James Bond parody. Another problem is miscasting. Richard Grieco simply looks a little bit too old to play an average teenager and Star’s Grieco’s job is even harder due to Star’s script that makes his character too arrogant, too stupid and often dislikable. He also lacks chemistry with Gabrielle Anwar, beautiful actress who is here reduced to pretty face. One of the film’s flaws is music score by David Foster which annoyingly plays at the wrong scenes. There are some bright spots in the film – an occasional detour towards black humour and Robin Bartlett who is quite entertaining in the role of Michael’s teacher. The film would nevertheless be interesting mostly to those who like to compare how the prospects of European unification looked thirty years with Europe now. By having main villain, played over the top by Roger Rees, actual head of Europe and openly stating his intentions to become tyrannical overlord of the continent, If Looks Could Kill is likely to win hearts of many Eurosceptics who would see its content as strangely prophetic. The rest of the audience would probably considered this film as a waste of time.
RATING: 4/10 (+)
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