There are various ways to classify movies that fail to reach even the lowest possible criteria. Among them there should be a place for a category labeled as "films by Albert Pyun". Although there are directors who gained a lot of notoriety due to the abysmal quality of their work, few of them made so many atrociously bad movies as Pyun did. Despite his reputation, Pyun almost always managed to surprise even the most experienced viewers and show them that there isn't a movie so bad that it couldn't be made look good in comparison with another. However, Pyun once actually made a movie that turned out to be watchable, but this was not the case with his 1993 action comedy Brain Smasher... A Love Story.
The plot of this film deals with Sam Crain (played by Teri Hatcher), professional model that gets in the whole new world of trouble after agreeing to smuggle a package from Europe to Portland, Oregon for her sister Carrie (played by Deborah Van Valkenburgh). Soon she becomes the target of murderous Shaolin monks and her only protection comes in the form of Ed "Brainsmasher" Molloy (played by Andrew Dice Clay), a night club bouncer.
Even Clay, comedian who carried the tragically underrated The Adventures of Ford Farlane on his shoulder, seems unable to save this film from its fate. Pyun, who also wrote the script, seems to lack the sense of humour, while the action scenes look unimpressive and the whole story, even with the surprise twist at the end, completely unoriginal and uninspiring. Teri Hatcher, future star of Lois and Clark, is also left without any opportunity to show her potential. Fans of both stars should do themselves a great service if they watch something else.
RATING: 2/10 (-)
(Note: The text in its original form was posted in Usenet newsgroup rec.arts.movies.reviews on September 25th 2001)
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Movie URL: https://www.themoviedb.org/movie/25706-brain-smasher-a-love-story?language=en-US Critic: A
