The easiest part of every criminal career is committing crimes; getting away is what differentiates successful from unsuccessful criminals. Same goes for the female protagonist of Holy Matrimony, 1994 comedy by Leonard Nimoy. Havana (played by Patricia Arquette) and her boyfriend Peter (played by Tate Donovan) rob state fair and cross the border into Canada, where Peter, prodigal son of Hutterite family, would seek shelter among his folks, with Havana posing as his future bride. The idea is to hide money, get married and live as good Hutterites until police abandon the search. Unfortunately, Peter dies in car crash without telling Havana where he had stashed the money. Havana, who took great pains to adapt her worldly ways to simple Hutterite lifestyle, is desperate. However, the obscure biblical custom would rescue her plans - according to Hutterite tradition, widow must be proposed by the younger brother of the deceased. Community elders see this as formality but Havana, at the surprise of everyone, accepts to marry Peter's 12-year old brother Zeke (played by Joseph Gordon-Levitate). Zeke actually can't stand Havana and correctly assumes that Havana had some unsavoury motives.
David Weisberg's script for Holy Matrimony probably looked great on paper. This interesting mix of Getting Even with Dad and Witness had more in it than simple "high concept" - story and characters offered numerous opportunities for humour based on cultural, generational and gender gaps, all wrapped in neat “feelgood” package of family entertainment. Leonard Nimoy, who already had experience with this sort of films while doing U.S. version of Three Men and a Baby, seemed like a good choice for director. Unfortunately, while Nimoy wisely decided not to take sides in Hutterite vs. outside world conflict (even when their strict obedience of biblical laws led to unpleasant results like what would have looked like institutional paedophilia), he nevertheless missed opportunity to give more insight into Hutterite world, their lifestyles and world views. The film also suffered from bad pacing, unnecessary subplot involving maniacal FBI agent and weak and not very believable happy ending. Acting was good - Patricia Arquette didn't seem tired from another role of fugitive (she had played similar characters in Troublebound and True Romance in previous years) while young Gordon-Levitt showed that even the children who lack Macaulay Culkin's cuteness might carry the film. In the end, Holy Matrimony, while amusing in some parts, nevertheless gives impression of a film with too many missed opportunities.
RATING: 4/10 (+)
(Note: The text in its original form was posted in Usenet newsgroup rec.arts.movies.reviews on October 3rd 2000)
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