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Satanic (film) : Sorry Haley, this movie is dumb **SPOILERS**

Review by @gooddream · 2632d · of Satanic

The only reason why I watched this is because of Sarah Hyland and it is quite obvious that the makers of the film were kind of banking on her star power to carry this film as well. I'll try not to hold it against her, but this movie is bad... i mean really bad.

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So some teens who are fascinated with the macabre decide to travel to California to do a "dark tour" of various sites affiliated with Satanism. They stay in a hotel room that someone affiliated with Satanism committed suicide (I don't know if we are meant to know who they are referring to - or if it is a famous person... I didn't recognize the name) and then they visit the residence where the Charles Manson murders took place (Tate residence.)

This is all innocent enough but we are dealing with the caricature of teenagers here. So of course they are wise-cracking and being wiseacres the entire time and just playing silly pranks on one-another that I guess is supposed to be funny, but really it is just annoying and dumb dialogue.

Basically, almost nothing of substance happens until they run into a girl named "Alice" who is fascinated with Satanism.

[source](https://i0.wp.com/moviesandmania.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Satanic-2016-movie-film.png?fit=550%2C340&ssl=1)

Alice performs some sort of ritual and then cuts her own throat without any fear at all. I have to admit that part was quite shocking and the special affects were pretty spot on. It's just a shame that the audience had to endure about an hour of some of the most annoying dialogue to ever be in a film in order to get there.

The remainder of the film is simply Satan chasing them and eventually getting them. I actually do kind of like how the entire film went "full circle" in that while being chased by Satan one of the girls tries to scream out of a window at a car. A car that has her and her friends in it. This scene was shown to us really early on in the film but no one thinks anything of it at the time.

However, there is no explanation as to how this is possible... did they travel through time? How are they seeing themselves where they stood several days ago? WTF is going on?

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that this was bad because it seems like a lot of actors (insert just about anyone from GOT) try to use their fame from a TV show and turn it into big screen performances and it very rarely works. I like Sarah Hyland but entirely because of her role on Modern Family. This film ended up having an extremely limited release and failed to even make 500k in sales.

There is no reason to watch this movie as it has no redeeming qualities. I don't know what compels filmmakers to get involved in projects like this. I suspect maybe they were hoping that Sarah's star-power would be enough to carry the film. It wasn't.

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Comments · 2

  • @bozz(83)· 2631d

    Hah, I probably would have skipped this one anyway, but I definitely will now. I hear what you are saying about hoping a persons star power will carry the movie. I think it goes the other way too. There are countless times a movie actor has tried to do a tv series and it has fallen flat. I think some people should just stick to what they know :)

  • @marcusantoniu26(68)· 2632d

    Thanks for the advise. If I run into it, I will not watch.