I was 12 going on 13 the first time I saw a dead human being. It happened in the summer of 1959... a long time ago, but only if you measure in terms of years.
Wait. That's not my life. I wasn't even born in 1959. I was born 12 years later (gosh am I old!).
Those are the opening lines from the movie based on Stephen King's novella The Body.
Perhaps you recognize this other delightful romp by Stephen King...
But back to The Body.
Most people know it as...
Stand By Me
Stand By Me is one of the best and most influential movies I have ever or will ever see. I hope to pass the love of this movie on to my 12 year old son... when he is ready.
*This may be the most perfectly cast group of teens and pre-teens ever assembled.*Last week, @richq11 wrote a post about the education system. He ended it with the following:
Note: @giantbear suggested I write a children's story... the wisdom of asking that of a writer of horror/political conspiracy stories- who never had a childhood himself, may be questionable... But like anything else- I'll give it a try once!
Before I even finished reading that paragraph, the spark was already lit for me to write a piece I have been kicking around in my head for a long time.
How could an author known for his mastery of the horror genre write a coming of age story centered around realistic foul mouthed pre-teens? I have no f-ing idea. But I am so glad Stephen King did.
My friends and I first saw Stand By Me when we were 15 years old. It tells the story of four 12 year old boys who set out on a journey to gain local fame by finding, and reporting the location of a dead teenager who had been killed by a moving train 20 or 30 miles outside of their town. The timing of when my pals and I watched it could not have been more perfect. I had been friends with this group for several years. Therefore, we had gone through a similar (although far less dramatic) transition from childhood to adolescence together as the characters in the film had. Seeing these characters navigate the same journey just felt so right at the time. Somehow, it still does. King and director Rob Reiner included the perfect mix of drama, humor and emotion to truly capture the essence of this transformation.
*Swap the 50's garb for some tight shorts with white trim and knee high socks with three stripes and this could have been my friends and I.*I may have learned more from this movie than anything else during my childhood and adolescence. Some day, I plan to share this with my son Timmy.
Stand By Me taught me how to be a big brother. It also taught me how not to be a father or a teacher. Most importantly, it taught me how to be a true friend.
Stand By Me is rated "R"... and for good reason. There are almost as many "F-bombs" dropped as my friends and I used when we were 12. The kids smoke, gamble and use guns. They lie to their parents and put themselves in dangerous situations. In other words, they act like 12 year olds in a fairy tale written by another 12 year old.
That is what this movie is: a dark, old-school, Grimm fairy tale created for guys looking back on their youth. Although the emotion and lessons are very real, the details are not. The hunt for the body, gun play, and swearing are all insignificant compared to the lessons taught. Those incidentals are merely a vehicle meant to grab and hold the attention of testosterone filled man-children (like me). And it worked.
*It seems that every good fairy tale needs a forest... and leeches... lots of leeches!*Thank goodness it did. Because if you can get past all of that, there are some essential lessons to be learned from this beautiful story.
I'm still not sure how I will judge when my son is ready to see this movie (he can't stand swearing). However, one thing is for sure. If my son ever walks up to me and asks, "What does it mean to be a Friend?". I won't answer. I will sit down on the couch and pop in Stand By Me. While we watch I will stop at every teachable moment... and there are many.
For many who are familiar with the film, they may immediately think I mean the scene where Gordy bravely and boldly defends his friend by pointing a pistol at a gang of older teenagers while saying, "Suck my fat one, you cheap dimestore hood." But that is simply fairytale nonsense. Although that is a really cool scene, it will never happen in my or my son's life (I hope).
No. That scene won't help. It will entertain, but it won't teach my son anything. Perhaps I can stretch it and say that it shows friends stand up for each other... but I don't think my son needs to prepare for a life or death standoff. What he does need to prepare for is standing by his friends and relying on them to stand by him.
*This is actually the film's least powerful example of friends standing by each other... but I still dug it when I was 15.*If my son can find a friend or be a friend like either Chris Chambers (played by River Phoenix) or Gordy Lachance (played by Will Wheaton), then I will have confidence he will be just fine.
Chris Chambers is one of my top 10 favorite characters of all time. He comes from a horrible home filled with anger and abuse. Instead of joining or leading a gang like his older brother, he supports and takes care of his group of friends. He is strong, brave, wise and very caring. I hope my own son shares some of these qualities (actually, he already does).
Although the best examples of true friendship occur between Chris and Gordy, the former illustrates this essential concept in his interactions with other characters as well.
For example, Chris helps Teddy (played by Corey Feldman) on two different occasions. First, he knocks Teddy off the tracks when he is trying to dodge an oncoming train. Sometimes friends need a "designated thinker". Because Teddy wasn't thinking, Chris had to do it for him. That is what friends do.
*Sometimes friends act like idiots and you need to save them from themselves.*Next, the group encounter a nasty junk yard owner named Milo. Milo insults Teddy and his father who is in a mental hospital (presumably for suffering from PTSD from WWII). Teddy attempts to attack the man who was gigantic compared to them. Of course, Chris is the one to save him from the terrible mistake. Teddy begins to weep as the boys drag him away from the scene. As Teddy cries, Chris hugs and consoles him while reminding his friend that his father was a true hero who stormed the beach at Normandy. Chris was there to make his friend feel better. That is what friends do.
*Friends protect each other... even if it is from themselves.*If those were the only examples of true friendship in this film, I would still love it. However, those are only the cowcatcher of this rumbling freight train. In the second part of this piece, which I will post later this week, I will explore the most powerful examples of what it means to be a friend.
