I love a bad film that's bad, and God's of Egypt may be a great example of that type of movie. It's a film that could have been a forgettable decent fantasy blockbuster, but decided to go for the chaos at every turn. Let's face it, this is a sincere compliment, and that's the only reason I use the word weirdly.
It's a good idea, but, in theory, an ancient Egyptian empire governed by literal gods, those creatures that can take the form of giant metallic animals, and mortals who live as their slaves. A young mortal man, a thief, Bek joins forces with the injured and exiled Horus to steal the eyes back and restore his power to Horus, and to slay Set before he can impose an oppressive, joyless rule over gods and mortals alike. It's a story line that should have worked for either a rollicking fun adventure or a self-serious slog, and it somehow works as both types of film, sometimes in the same scene.
It has to be acknowledged: casting was a huge deal for this film and rightfully so. The film's main roles of the gods were all white, with the roles of Set (played by Gerard Butler) and Horus (played by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) being played by white cast members, while those of other gods were mostly smaller or background parts. There was a huge backlash and even before the film came out, the studio issued a public apology. It's a good thing to think about for a minute, since no "it's a stupid popcorn movie" excuse could take away the reality that this was a genuine, serious failing, and that's a movie that shouldn't have been released.
Sure, for that alone, outside of that.. this would be an impressive film if it wasn't so dead set against the absurd reality it presents. Each and every decision in the production is cranked up to the max. The gods are nine feet tall, for no reason really explained. They bleed gold. During battle, they can transform into giant CGI falcons and beetles. The sets are gold-leafed, lapis-blue-covered, something like a Vegas casino, and the visual effects (not seamless, but garish, maximalist, whatever) while not exactly seamless, they at least do a full commitment to a vision, albeit a kind of ugly one. There's not a wisp of subtlety here and it's just pretty fooling anyone who thinks a blockbuster this big should tone it down a bit.
Playing Set, Gerard Butler knows every inch of his role, and there's a gravelly and almost theatre-playing sense of fun in his role play. He's obviously enjoying himself as a mustache-twirling tyrant god, yelling at people and swaggering around in golden throne rooms as if he's auditioning for a professional wrestling heel gig. Meanwhile, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau appears to be less certain about the tone he's supposed to be hitting Horus vacillates between wounded, brooding antihero and one-liner machine, and it is never really clear whether he's supposed to be taken seriously or not.
The dialogue is an embellished version of the same kind of bad that is generally designed for quotability, not believability. Sentences are expository and sounding like filler text that nobody finished editing, the characters tell what they are going to do and how they feel. But with some of the genuinely stiff line delivery from some of the cast there is a real "so bad it's entertaining" feel to all but a handful of the movie's conversations.
Story-wise, it's thin... mortal thief and wounded god go on a quest, gather a couple of allies and obstacles along the way, face off against the villain in an over-the-top final confrontation. I don't see anything here that rehashes the ‘hero's journey' wheel and the pacing is slow at points where it obviously wants me to feel passion for relationships and stakes that weren't given the time to justify my passion. Bek (Brenton Thwaites) is an easy-to-like everyman energy, but there's never a real weight that belongs to the human/god power dynamic that should be the film's emotional foundation.
In some respects, though, the film succeeds as pure entertainment: awful, indeed. This is a movie that's best viewed with a gang of pals, with a few pitchers of beer in hand, wanting to laugh out loud at funny lines and gawk at wild creative decisions. Lacking any sort of redeeming value in the traditional sense, it is not boring, not by any stretch, and it's not the same thing as a film that just fell short of being big. Well, this is certainly the latter.
Gods of Egypt is a mess, a truly baffling casting choice, a script that's a self parody and an effect that's either amazing or ridiculously cheap based on the scene. But it's also an oddly fascinating watch because of the lack of restraint. I would certainly not include it in my list of good movies, but it would be nice to watch this much-hyped, expensive teaser in this much-spectacularized manner.
I think the film is Objectively bad, but fun to watch bad. Observe with low expectations and with companions.
Rating: 50/100
