Okay, okay, okay I am going to have to admit it here. I like the principles of Valentines day and with this thought, I am absolutely hooked to 'Married at First Sight'. A guilty pleasure to the max about people who do no know each other and get married.
Controversial? Yeah sure. Science? Maybe a little, but also a great deal of hopium. In other shows deep down I always want experiments to fail, but in this one I really want all of these people to be happy with each other. The hopium takes over.
So what is the fuss about to start with? In Holland (and I think in other countries as well, but there they have a different name) there is this television show called 'Married at first sight' which actually says it all. People are matched to another and they only see each other for the first time when they are actually at the altar.
After their wedding day, that is when they really start to know each other. But before this? They are marrying a complete stranger.
Or are maybe these matches not such strangers as you think?
Dating
If you have ever been in dating land recently you know it really sucks. Especially in these times (and I guess in covid times even worse) when dating is mostly done with taking the perfect snap of yourself and presenting that only with multiple swipes left and right.
As almost a collective group of people we conclude that this sucks, but on the other hand: Was going into a bar and hopefully finding your +1 there also not a lot of hopium as well? Talking to someone to find out they actually are not single at all, they just enjoyed dancing with you. Or not liking to go to bars at all, but you almost have to because that is the place where people find each other. Or that someone actually wasn't that appealing but you thought he was because you had a drink too much? (we call this the 10-beer-dude. After 10 beer everyone looks fine)
So I get it! Dating sucks in all forms, but we still want to find love. Back to the program where people hand themselves over to science and statistics to find them a genuine match.
This start out with screening days ofcourse where the contestants are all checked thouroughly on their competences, on their psyche, on their sexuality. It is not about being the best, it is about finding someone who suits you.
And that is what people are trying to find out. Moral values should be in the same direction. The idea of how you spend your days should be in the direction. The idea of what sort of intimacy you want should be in the same direction.
The biggest bottleneck is really...How people see themselves
Self reflection
I am always shocked on how bad people know themselves and know how to present themselves. Especially in the days when I was hiring people I often didn't understand how people could find themselves very outgoing and enthusiastic, while their entire outcome and bodylanguage was telling something different.
That should be the biggest problem with matching here I would say. How people rate themselves. And that is when it is good when science steps in. Because science makes lists, and scores and keeps it simple and objectively matches these people.
Now I don't know if people getting to know each other on the wedding days is the best of ideas, but on the other hand. Maybe going to the bar was a bad idea. Maybe making a profile online was a bad idea.
And at the same time they also all have their success rates as well. There is no golden place on where or when love is to find. Maybe it is on televison and waiting at the altar, who knows?
