Rating: 3/5 AKA: Fuck You Scooby Doo! Watch Here: https://www.bitchute.com/video/oKwPvbMfjU6I/
"And is it Possible You're Such a Vacant Nerd, You're Satisfaction is to Sit Like a Frog in the Sun!?" - Actual Dialogue from the Film
A Blade in the Dark is about a composer named Bruno who rents out an Italian Villa to work on a film score for an upcoming horror flick. Sounds stupid yeah? Well you know what sounds stupider than that? Your Mom.
Anyway Bruno utilizes the power of 80's synth to create a pretty cool theme. He's bombarded by luxurious Italian babes, and is having the time of his life. Until his actress girlfriend shows up, and starts making shit about her. See this little lady has a secret, she's playing hooky from a prominent theater troupe to berate her hard working playboy composer.
So what's so scary about all that? Everything in between. This is classic Italian horror at it's finest. It relies more on the kills/gore and atmosphere to lure you in. I'm never opposed to a film that creates a genuine atmosphere as the foundation of it's presentation, and then tacks on niche components afterwards. We get some awesome kill FX here, combined with some gritty tension.
"I thought of you too."
The killer is pretty different, it's not necessarily new for 1983, but it was still uncommon to see this back then. It's one of those things we shouldn't spoil here, you need to see it for yourself.
The dialogue suffers from some fucked up dubbing, pretty good though, I wish more people talked like this, semi dyslexic and awkward.
At first glance when you see the title "A Blade in the Dark" you might ask yourself...is this the 4th Blade movie? It's an honest mistake sure, but you should know Blade is a day-walker pimp, and if you don't know that after 3 movies then somethings fucking wrong with you.
Day Man, Fighter of the Night Man -
FINAL WORD
MR.HELLBOX: It's funny to see how fashion and people change - I look around the world now and see mutants half dressed or fitted with their favorite (insert logo/brand shit here) - The 80's were a magical time, the calm before the storm, now we live in Zerg country - very sad. If I had my choice I would get a VHS copy of this film and keep it in an auto rewinding VCR and would make it part of my weekend night playlist. We fucked up somewhere folks, cause you will never get anything like this again. - 3/5
Schlong Long: Bruno was the man, proof positive that all you need to get pussy in this world is playing music in A-Flat - rest assured your bitches won't be flat if you got a synth, a Christmas sweater and wacky ass dialogue. - 3/5
Prince Pectorals: Nobody is talking about how awesome the pool at this villa is. Dude this whole set up, to include the house, is perfect for a workout montage. Instead of going to Russia to train in Rocky 4, Stallone should have came here. He would have stomped Ivan Drago in the first round, but nah gotta show how tough he is by training in the snow. Bitch snow melts, but Italy is forever! - 4/5
