I recently finished watching the first season of Nathan Fielder's latest documentary series The Rehearsal. I found that, despite the show being riddled with Nathan Fielder's expected weirdness, that it was actually an incredibly profound look into the mind of the average person: how we lie through life and how our actions, greatest wants and needs, are all fantasies void of reason for the most part. How we neglect the possibility of unfortunate outcomes under some facade play within our heads that completely overlooks the reality of life. That problem solving is a fundamental aspect of life itself, yet we never truly understand the importance of a single moment. We often ignore the present in a way that also ignores the future; we have very little awareness of the passing of time and attempt to optimise satisfaction that is instant rather than contemplating the best way to go about doing things.
Nathan Fielder's The Rehearsal took a look at such ideas, and dived into this strange world where everyday people are placed into an environment that is more theatrical, but provides a very real glimpse at how things might look in the future. It displayed, with many oddities, that the best way to look ahead into the future is to look at the present and past to consider every potential outcome to ensure that one is truly prepared going forward. A woman wanting to seek a strong bond and become a mother is opened up to the realisation that relationships are complex and full of challenges as two people have conflicting opinions and beliefs; and also given a glimpse at the hardships that come with raising a child. We fail to remind ourselves of the challenges to come when we dream ahead of ourselves, and it ultimately can set us up for failure. This is also evident in the opening episode in which we see how failure to understanding the consequences of the present can lead to tough decisions to make in the future. A simple lie can turn your life around.
This had me considering the fact that it is quite rare that the film industry takes such a deep dive into the concept of human condition. In such a way that is certainly not too obvious, and I am sure many will not notice. It reminded me, while I was watching it, of a film known as Synecdoche, New York; a film written by the nihilist Charlie Kaufman. Though I do not use the reference of nihilism as a negative, in fact it is a form of praise: Kaufman looks into life as some strange experience that we roam through with each passing second forever unsatisfied. Never truly knowing where we want to be or who we want to be. In fact, his films often detail the realisation of life's fragility and how we pass through it and inevitably end with regret. That the idea of regret is one that we cannot escape.
I have seen many people in the past refer to Kaufman's writing as a negative due to the nihilistic nature. But it is very easy to slip into this assumption while missing his point: life is fragile, quick, and you will regret many things if you do not start appreciating things in the present. He roams over the notion that regret and suffering is an essential part of being a complex being capable of thought; but we are intelligent enough beings to address this issue and propel ourselves into an area where we can begin to manipulate our emotions and minds in the pursuit of happiness. Nihilism can become solace. I feel that Kaufman's strongest work in this regard is Synecdoche, New York. A film that glances over the idea of life and how beautiful it really is. And how we only really notice how beautiful our lives are due to the drama and simplicty of them when it is too late.
Our protagonist has the opportunity to create a huge theatrical piece, and his characters become everyday people. Each room being a simple life that unfolds within four walls. The narrative is the fact that there is no narrative, and the art is the art of life. We roam throughout our daily activities one after the other. One keystroke after another. We prepare our meals. We return home from work and welcome our loved ones with a warm embrace. We die. Kaufman's approach to detailing this is to give budget to a character that himself has lost everything, and is in desperate need to create something so grand, so powerful, that it is never forgotten and his mark is forever left on Earth; that even as he inevitably passes, his work lives on. We all live in such a manner, as we aim to leave something behind once we are gone. Whether it is art or emotional impacts on people. We fear leaving and nobody knowing we existed.
Kaufman toys with this protagonist in a way that is cruel: he continues to face hardship, and his motivation to create something so spectacular is not lived. He continues to pour his soul into it despite the many ways in which it makes his present even more difficult to deal with. His finite time left to live is spent in self-torture. And time passes, his idea grows stronger, though still simple in its approach to displaying the everyday actions and discussions of regular people. The beauty of this film, however, sits in just a short minute. Which is interesting given the message of how fragile and fast a single minute can be; this monologue details life. The way we all pass through it, that we come to this realisation that our hopes and dreams have passed behind us. That we all face this. We realisation the lack of our own importance on an Earth full of billions.
This monologue shows a protagonist roaming through his failed attempt at greatness. Now ill, elderly, and struggling to walk. Each step showing his grand creation reduced to rubble, and his realisation that life has reached its peak long ago. This is Kaufman speaking directly to the audience. As he tells us that our lives -- as much as we believe are full of upcoming opportunity and realised dreams as if we are the protagonist of life itself -- are not directed by anyone. They are not in the control of others, and we are the ones that must take initiative to pursue happiness. That our suffering is inevitable but can be avoided if we acknowledge the fragility of our being; we are all in this together in this way, we all experience the same emotions and events. Our lives, as theatrical and personal as they seem, are merely the same stories playing over and over all at once.
There is this aspect of time that we fail to recognise despite its importance. That time is the one thing we have, and we have so, so little of it. We lie to ourselves and tell ourselves we have plenty of time. That tomorrow something can be done. Or next week you will approach an issue in your life. Perhaps it doesn't matter if you don't do this one thing now, and there's always time to do it later. Is there, though? Are we truly prepared for the future? Particularly as the future is not promised. The average life may reach into the 70s, but does that mean you will? This is the delusion of our minds, the manipulation of the self as we fail to understand that the clock is forever ticking whether you are ready or not. Kaufman writes in a way that is so direct, so poetic, and this monologue reminds us that we age with every second, and that clock is ticking life away. You may not achieve everything you wish in life, but what is stopping you from achieving happiness in the present?
The aspects of suffering are a fundamental process in establishing this importance of life. Seeing its fragility and ultimately lack of meaning. As we all roam this Earth together, not really acknowledging what we really are, and where we are heading all at once. We see everything from our own perspectives, in our own little bubbles; we look around and think we are in control at all times, that life will figure itself out, and that we can relax as everything unfolds like a theatrical performance before our very eyes. But only do you realise that you are alive when you feel something so deeply profound, and suffering is often enough the answer to discovering yourself. It is easy to assume that Kaufman is merely stating that life itself is suffering, to which this nihilistic opinion is very much true, but he reminds us that through suffering comes growth, understanding of the self. The world. The significance of a wrinkle. A flower. An autumn leaf on the dirty ground. Each things going through the same process as you as it traverses from one state to the next.
We should know what to expect from life. Aware of all its beauty and complexities. And that we should step back sometimes and admire the beauty of it all. To realise that the best time to be in is now. You can look ahead to the future, prepare, and ensure that it is a comfortable one. But do not delude yourself into believing that there is always more time to start living. Sooner or later, you will realise that time is no longer on your side.
