I almost didn't watch anything today. I have felt a little bit of burnout as the days feel far too short and I struggle to cram in all the things I want to do. That process of scrolling through a steaming service or even Google just felt like a chore. But when I opened Disney+, with my awful pattern of watching terrible parody films as of late, one of the first things for my eyeballs to land upon was Meet The Spartans. I really did not want to watch it, I felt picky and very indecisive as it was already quite late; to go to bed early to watch this film I haven't seen since I was maybe 15? Well, being excellent at making terrible choices I proceeded to hit play and went into the film. Not before a quick Google search to see who the main character was; only to see that the film had an incredibly 2% review score on Rotten Tomatoes.
These days Rotten Tomatoes is hardly a website full of established critics to trust and follow. Some of the greatest review scores are of utter trash made by Hollywood's nonsensical pandering over the last decade. Scores heavily inflated by agendas and pop culture fads. But the 2% that Meet The Spartans had actually seemed like it would be quite accurate, and for that reason alone, I felt that the pain would be worth it. Just how bad could it be? Is it as bad as I remember it being? After all, what I remember was it being quite funny as a teenager. Often referenced by myself and peers. As a 28 year old supposed adult, I was curious as to how I'd react to it again, remembering almost nothing from it. Perhaps 2% was a bit harsh, there's definitely worse out there. But perhaps this is also from a time where these parody films were being thrown out like they were nothing, and critics feeling fatigued by them and their success within the general public. This film made its money back and some, which is pretty crazy to think about these days given many good indie films fail to breakeven without a streaming service deal.
Well, I guess we better get into it!
Meet The Spartans
It's 2008, the recession has already started. Hollywood has no idea what to do with itself and algorithms and big data haven't yet sucked the soul out of the industry. The first few parody films made by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are already out and performed recently. Though with every few months that passed came new hits from Hollywood. Animated films from Disney, DreamWorks, and more. The first signs of Hollywood pursuing comic book films was also appearing with the very cinematic and different 300 film to break the ice. They just couldn't help themselves but to combine it all together, sprinkled on top are a plethora of reality television and celebrity event references just to be relatable to the times when TMZ was actually relevant, also rather questionable in their constant invasive action over the privacy of bigger names. Back then, people really did care for that sort of gossip. Magazines were popular, the internet was just starting to shift its form with the introduction of the first iPhone (I still own mine, actually). Essentially, modern society had reached a peak, and Hollywood just had to combine it all to display its stupidity.
In essence, these films are a capsule of pop culture references and events. Almost like a more dumb version of Idiocracy that manages to shine a light at everything we are doing with heavy exaggeration and slightly hidden warnings. To say that Meet The Spartans is similar in that regard is certainly a stretch, it is by no means that smart, or smart at all. But the existential relevancy of it today truly is fascinating. This awful parody film primarily mocks the film 300, showing the story of Leonidas on his way to battle against an undefeatable army with just 300 men. In this instance, he has maybe 12 men to follow. Leonidas hails from a land that appears to be very gay, as a light is cast upon the idea of the Spartans and their very open nature regarding muscular men and their bonds. Alongside this comes heavy reality television references as Britney Spears makes her way into the scenes (and a lot, actually, this film seems to poke a rather targeted amount of jokes towards her) as well as other various game show hosts and show references. A lot of the time these scenes don't really make sense. Characters appear out of nowhere and jokes come and go in quick succession. It's almost like Family Guy and their joke cycle in which Peter just states something followed by an unrelated gag about the subject.
I have to admit though, sometimes the silliness of the dialogue just gets me. I can't help but laugh at hoe truly stupid it can be. And I'm definitely a sucker for absolutely ridiculous humour. Not necessarily slapstick humour, but dialogue driven that results in the unexpected. Subverted expectations and highly unrealistic events just get me. The first half of the film is generally where much of the humour is, mostly before the Spartans really go off to fight against the Persians. To which there it is when the film tries to take itself a bit more seriously and sum up a narrative to bring things to an end. The humour sort of hits its peak and falls down rather rapidly, making for quite a boring second half that loses your attention very quickly. After all, this is a film for the jokes and lack of seriousness, and if the momentum drops then what's really the point in watching on?
Still, much of the humour is that of which you just wouldn't find in today's softer climate. I have to appreciate it for that. It came at a time where society was more free and careless, people joked about themselves and others without finding reason to be offended or call for it to end. For a terrible film, at least it took advantage of the era and showed us that we can just laugh together at ourselves. I mentioned in other reviews this sort of thing as well, that I am glad they exist no matter how bad they are as films. That Hollywood once found ways to laugh at itself and surroundings and wasn't so scared to make something different. nd these parody films really are different compared to today's industry standards. It only has me more curious as to what a modern parody film would look like. Perhaps someone, somewhere is making them for some small production company. But it still won't be the same as production companies themselves happily mocking their hits and lows.
Well, despite the second half, I will admit the first half had me enjoying it despite the utter stupidity. I do think 2% is a little harsh of a rating, perhaps those critics just have forgotten how to laugh. Maybe they too should learn to not take things so seriously. After all, we are all heading into a guaranteed losing battle against time, perhaps not half-naked with spray painted abs and singing along to Gloria Gaynor, however.
I'm still a fool for being awake at 4AM over Meet The Spartans, though.
