IMDb.com’s log line for Jupiter Ascending reads:

A young woman discovers her destiny as an heiress of intergalactic nobility and must fight to protect the inhabitants of Earth from an ancient and destructive industry.

So. Yeah. That’s the best I can do for a synopsis of the movie. Mila Kunis is the title character, Jupiter, and Channing Tatum was Caine Wise, a human/dog hybrid who rescues her a lot while wearing flying roller blades. Eddie Redmayne is the main bad guy and the other two secondary baddies were played by people I don’t remember.

This one is bad but, I have to say, it is entertaining. It’s one of those “it’s-so-bad-it’s-good,” you have to see it to believe it, what the hell were the Wachowskis thinking but I can’t look away flicks.

Sean Bean’s in it. He hangs out with bees.

The Good...

Redmayne goes all in and goes over the top with his performance.

This is ridiculous and unintentionally hilarious.

The Not So Good...

It’s also bloated and, while all the money is on the screen, it’s a bloated cgi-heavy mess that really made very little sense whatsoever.

Who thought Tatum with as a half man/ half dog was a good idea?

It’s bad but it’s entertainingly bad.

-all photos via IMDb.com