The assumptions people make about me

Honestly, I am not good at first impressions. And I do not mean just once, it happens to me all the time. There is something about the way I walk into a room that makes people assume I have a big ego, that I somehow think I am above everyone else.

The funny thing is, I am the complete opposite. Anyone who actually gets to know me will tell you I am one of the most humble people they know. I help others whenever I can, I am fun to be around, and I am the type who gets excited over the smallest things, I can get high on anything.

It shows up everywhere. In the professional world, people see me walk in and read me as strong and serious, and I get told all the time that I know exactly what I want. Among the moms at my kids' school, I apparently come across as tough. I am not sure if it is my super black eyebrows giving me a permanent serious look, or simply that my mind is always busy somewhere else, so I am not really aware of my surroundings unless I make the effort to be.

Honestly, it used to make me feel misunderstood, even a little hurt. It is a strange thing to be read as the exact opposite of who you really are. The way I dealt with it was to slowly stop taking it so personally. I reminded myself that the people who truly matter always end up seeing the real me, and I let that be enough.

But lately I am also doing something about it. After moving my children to a new school, I decided to soften that first impression on purpose. So now I smile more, I try to be more present and aware of the people around me, and I am slowly building new friendships with the other moms. It turns out a simple smile goes a long way.

How my favorite color has changed

I really believe our love for colors is tied to our emotions, and mine has shifted with the different phases of my life.

There was a time I was completely obsessed with red. And I mean obsessed, my whole bedroom ended up red. Then came my university years, when I was all about hot pink and anything phosphorescent, the glowier the better. And whenever I hit a really calm, peaceful stretch of life, I find myself quietly drawn to white.

But through all of it, I have always had my constants: shades of blue, purple and teal. Those are the ones that never leave me. I love them at night and during the day, when I am happy and when I am sad, I loved them when I was younger and I still love them now that I am older. They feel the most like me no matter what phase I am in, and I think that is exactly why they became my forever favorites.

So I suppose I am a bit of a contradiction. Tough on the outside but soft once you know me, ever-changing in my colors but always finding my way back to blue. And honestly, I am slowly learning to be okay with all of it.