They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.
- Edgar Allan Poe -
I was at a thing but didn't want to be there - too many people with an inflated sense of their own magnificence, too much ego and hubris. The food was good though, the waiters soon realising they'd need to keep returning to my area as one must consume so many of those little morsels to find any form of hunger-satisfaction. Other than the food though nothing and no one interested me until...
I was doing my best to become totally camouflaged by the collection of dypsis lutescens (bamboo palms) and thought I was doing a great job until a voice said, "that's my spot."
I peered from my (poorly) concealed position and saw a lady of ten or twelve years my junior (though she could have passed for twenty years younger I suppose) who wore a disarming smirk and a nicely tailored business suit in navy blue with a crisp white open-necked collared blouse underneath, her dark hair cascaded down one shoulder like glimmering liquid obsidian; classy, understated, professional and so lovely, I thought to myself, but damn her and her observant eyes, I'd been found!
I smiled and tried to think fast then said, with great seriousness, there's still room but there's a secret password. I'm not sure if that was clever or witty or dumb...it was all I could think of.
One of her eyebrows lifted slightly, head tilted and the smirk broadened into a smile which lit her green eyes like emeralds, "oh is there now," she said, "may I get a hint?"
"It's your name."
Even as I said it I thought it sounded dumb. I winced slightly in expectation of...of I don't know what...and then heard, "Selena."
Ok, that wasn't so hard, I thought - name acquired. I took her extended hand, shook it and she pushed a little closer into the jungle of plants - now both of us were (poorly) concealed.
We chatted for the next ninety minutes and after expressing our mutual distaste for events like this got onto better topics like travel experiences, books, art, societal problems and a few other things...everything except our jobs and reasons for being at the event. It was a really great time and the conversation even caused me to forget about those waiters walking around with food and how badly I wanted more.
We eventually swapped phone numbers and promises to call which I fully intend to keep.
I often say I don't like socialising with strangers much, one of the reasons I don't like events as above.
I'm just generally disappointed by most people as I don't find many of them engaging; rather, many seem like shapes of cardboard cut precisely to fit into society's ideal. They conform, rarely have independent thought, champion ideals they have no real clue about, focus on social media instead of their own lives, self-development or the immediate real world around them, are greedy, egotistical and selfish, poor communicators and...I guess it leads me to feel reluctant to engage. Yes, I know not everyone is like that and that through not engaging with people I may miss out on some great people, but I find the process abhorrent extremely disconcerting. I have a close circle around me and I'm happy with that.
It's for that reason I day-dream about escaping to a cottage out in the countryside far away from people and society's decline; I just don't feel comfortable with most people these days.
I'm a self reliant man so providing for myself would be achievable and making a trip to town for additional supplies occasionally wouldn't be much of a chore as long as I could retreat back to my country cottage; it seems idyllic. The reality is that's not quite possible (at this time) but I'm focused on it and fully believe I'll achieve it.
But then...people like Selena (not her real name) present themselves, good people, and I'd miss out on those gems found amongst the detritus society generally presents if I was to separate myself from society. It's people like her who stand out, who matter to me and bring connection and value, who keep me searching for more of them and who make me feel part of something that can be good great; human beings I mean.
I know there are many great people out there, you're probably one of them, but great for one may not be great for others, we have different likes and dislikes as individuals so naturally different people will appeal to us, or not. That's how it's supposed to be I think, it's what makes each of us unique.
Let me be clear for those who only skim this post and feel inclined to comment based on what they may not have actually read and understood...society is full of amazing and unique people with great value and much to add to other people's lives, but not all of them will appeal to everyone else - we have individual tastes and the freedom to do so after all.
Sometimes I need a reminder that those gems exist, that they're out there somewhere and whilst I may not immediately see them it doesn't mean they do not exist or that I should not be open to them or actively seek them.
It's funny, as Selena and I were chatting we both mentioned that we'd like to escape to a small village in the Tuscan countryside, a cottage somewhere, cabin in the woods, remote island or a shack on the beach and the reason was our dislike of the direction in which people have moved and society has generally taken; we both feel like retreating which I guess is what brought us to the same place in that room (poorly) camouflaged by the palms. But here's the thing, if we both had not felt that way would we have met that day? Had we engaged in the ways everyone else did (superficially) at that function would we have discovered as much about each other and found common thought and interest, or would we be two professional business people with no real clue about who the other person actually was. What a shame that would have been.
I hate these functions: The sham of them, attempts to hide selfishness, agendas, the lack of real connection and the what's in it for me ethos, entitlement, braggadocio...it reflects how society appears to me and why wouldn't it be when humans are involved I suppose.
My cottage in the countryside idea seems far more attractive...but I have to go to these things now and then and I'm happy to be surprised when I do just as I did at this particular event - I'm glad there's human beings out there like Selena who are still able to surprise me in amazingly positive ways; does that give me hope for society? The jury is out on that one, but it certainly makes having to spend time in society a little more interesting.
I know I may sound cynical about society and that you may disagree - totally fine of course, you don't know me or my experiences just as I do not know you and yours so any perceptions are just that, perceptions. I guess I'm just pragmatic though, I see things as they appear to me and react in my own ways....it's my life so I figure it's ok to do so, just like everyone else is free to act according to their own thoughts, attitudes, codes and ideals.
It's encounters like I mention in this post that remind me there are great people out there to be discovered and I've actually found that on Hive too.
I've run into some really great folks here, maybe I'm even talking about you, that I would never have met otherwise and that's really cool and one of the most attractive things about Hive to me...sure, there's fucktards too but they can be (and are) muted which leaves more room for the good ones.
So, my attempt at hiding (poorly) camouflaged in the palms at that event was a failure; the keen-eyed green-eyed Selena spied me out and coveted my position enough to reach out with intent to snatch it or share it and from there we connected which is very cool. Country cottage, you'll have to wait a little longer, I'm going to stay around for a little longer and see who else I can find.
What's been your experiences with people outside of your immediate and established social groups? Do you make a strong effort to find the right people to draw about you or do you prefer it to happen organically? How has meeting someone new changed your way of thinking, one way or another, and what are your thoughts on the status of human to human contact and communication - are people more effective communicators or less so? Feel free to comment on these or other, things as the mood strikes you.
Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
[Original and AI free] Image(s) in this post are my own
