Galenkp's Stuff

Leader...or fucken wanker?

@galenkp@galenkp (84)509d

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There's good and bad in everyone, it's subjective and a matter of perspective but what people see, how they react to it, isn't always valid and some see bad where it doesn't exist due to disgruntlement and other such things; this is something most leaders will face at some stage whether it's professional manager or leader, sporting coach, school teacher and even family...anywhere a person leads, guides and directs others. It's not always the leader's fault that they're seen as bad although it's always the leader's responsibility to deal with the ramifications of that in the most productive and effective way.

I've seen leaders be quite expert at their role and also incredibly bad and, as a leader myself thrust into the role in my early twenties, have done things really well and occasionally not as well as I should have. I learned over time and as my leadership experiences and responsibilities increased (and implications of them) so did my understanding of what it takes to be a good leader. One of these critical elements is the right dialogues with the team or subordinates and the need to deliver them in the right ways.

With this in mind, and some recent events that have transpired in my professional life, I thought I'd share a few of the wrong dialogues with the right one in counterpoint as a demonstration. Note, I don't represent that these dialogues should be used verbatim, they are an example only.

You'll do it my way because I said so and I'm the boss

What should be said here is something like: "I trust your judgement, skills and expertise and that you'll seek my assistance if required. I believe you have a focus on the goal and will move confidently towards it."

You're not paid to think

It's better to say: "I value your input and ideas and look forward to hearing them because it's through collective pooling of thought and action that we'll find better results."

I want this done by tomorrow

I'd prefer to use: "How about we agree on a timeline that works for all stakeholders and set a plan and schedule around it?"

That's not my problem, it's yours so work it out

Nope, that's wrong and this is preferable: "I'm here to support you as best I can so never hesitate to come to me with thoughts and ideas you feel may work best so we can investigate and find the right way forward."

Here's how we're going to do this

That's not building ownership or empowering the team, this will though: "How do you think we should approach this task and why?"

If this fails I'll hold you as responsible

Try instead: "We're a team so succeed and fail together, you're not alone in this matter."

I'll run this past upper management and get back to you

That's not empowering the team, this will though: "It would be great if you'd present this to upper management because it's your work and I trust in your ability to present it in the most favourable manner."

Leader or fucken wanker?

If you put yourself in the position of a worker/team member/subordinate I think it's clear how the above dialogues would be received in each case and which would be preferable. I think, if you're a leader and take that role seriously and want to build a strong, cohesive, productive and happy team it's also clear which dialogues would be most appropriate and you'll remember that the tone and body language used in communication is even more important than the words.

Naturally exact situations have to be considered here and the dialogues above may not match every scenario that arises but these should go some way towards demonstrating the differences between good and bad dialogues and I believe phrases like, or similar to, the above could be used as effectively in the workplace, socially and at home with family.

I wonder what you think after reading the contrasting dialogues and considering which style you'd respond favourably to and which you feel would lead to better team/workplace outcomes. So tell me about your thoughts and any experiences you've had in such matters below in the comments if you'd like.

Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp

_{[Original and AI free]} _{Image(s) in this post are my own}

Comments · 12

@hive-lu(65)· 501d
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@dahpilot(69)· 508d
Great topic you bring up! And I have a recent experience

Recently, I've been under the command of nothing but wankers, making the work environment very negative and toxic, and the results are never what we want. However, if those so-called leaders (wankers) fulfilled just 10% of what you say in the post, the results would be better. So you are absolutely right in what you say, and I love these posts.

Idk when I'll be in front of a team, but your posts have significantly changed my mindset regarding leadership—it’s pure gold!
@enginewitty(78)· 508d
Been in contact with both kinds of leader/bosses and decided when I became my own boss, that I would guide people as gently as possible. Emotions and all. What's the phrase - more bees with honey?
@deirdyweirdy(72)· 509d
I've always used the carrot and not the stick. Besides, if I'd said any of those things in red to my staff, they'd've poked me in the eye!:)
@enraizar(71)· 509d
Hi @galenkp, I understand the idea you convey to us. Moreover, I have known bad coordinators unable to delegate or with bad manners at the time of addressing any of his subordinates. I think that in jobs related to social issues, where reports are usually manipulated at the end of the year and where it is easier for incapable people to achieve tasks of responsibility, it is easier for incapable people to succeed. In these cases the team environment is not good. I am a witness of this.
@bozz(83)· 509d
I try to give my worker quite a bit of autonomy. Probably too much at times. I think he gets frustrated that I don't help him more, but I was a one man shop for a long time and learned pretty much everything I know the hard way. I'm always willing to give him advice, but I'd like him to try to figure things out on his own first.
@chinay04(75)· 509d
Leader should be that person who have the quality to speak to control and take over all the work he should have that type of skills that no one other have. That's why he is the leader. Anyways there is thousand of responsibility too on the leader.
@samarijr0(64)· 509d
The points you made here are very important and should stand true for any leader in any field because communication is an important and necessary skill needed for better understanding among individuals, groups, organisations.

When there is a good means of communication between a leader/boss and his employees, the organisation or company moves well and motivation steps in also because despite the hierarchy in command, the Chanel and means of communication does not indicate oppressiveness or a bossy attitude all the time demanding things to be done at your own will without regards at all

I believe if all leaders will at least exhibit some of this points, they will experience significant growth and smooth sailing of their company, organisation, groups or industries.
@avdesing(80)· 509d
As I was reading the dialogues I was thinking about the tone of voice used and definitely the second options are the most harmonising and the best to create a good working atmosphere and to unite the team. Those are the ones I would use, and with other words I have used something similar once.

The first options only provoke discomfort and distancing between the leader and the others. The work would be more complicated.
@shawnnft(75)· 509d
I feel what you said should be the standard though as a leader. I know it's not the case in real life but doing things through that standard will get things done better in the long run. And most non-leaders probably won't take that kind of treatment from those in higher positions. They will just leave for another company where they feel they belong.

I think it's more of a mindset thing of opening up, trusting and supporting others, less I/me and more we/us. The true leader will make it work as a team and focus on everyone's strength~
@olujay(75)· 509d

You're not paid to think

Can very well lead to malicious compliance. And then the boss, "who's paid to think," would have to think even harder. Seen this a lot, and it's the boss who gets frustrated in the end with certain employees.
@klye(75)· 509d
Wankas!

also how the fuck did you red text?! That is bad ass.