scrobble.life
Reflections

Saying something: Part ten

@galenkp@galenkp (84)444d

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I had an idea to do a little series of posts about things I've learned and applied to my personal and professional life. I'll keep these posts quite short but hope someone reads something they can fit into their own life of they can use to good effect.

Negotiation - Mirroring and emotion labelling

Like it or not, we all negotiate in some way and consistently throughout our lives. Sure we do it differently, seek different results for various reasons, but essentially it's all the same thing to a lesser or greater degree. I've done a lot of negotiation in my life, personal and professional, and have been trained in it which has helped me master the skill be quite adept at it although I don't always do it exactly right.

The skill of negotiation isn't a mystery, just a set of skills a person (any person) can learn and apply and should a person take the time to understand the concepts it can really open up opportunities in life, personal or professional, deepen and strengthen relationships and generally bring greater value.

Mirroring:

This is one of the simplest things one can do but it's powerful. Basically, one repeats the last few words the other has said...like this:

Them: This deadline puts me under too much pressure. You: Too much pressure? Them: Yes, I have to___then___and___. My schedule is too full currently. You: Too full currently?

The benefit is the other person feels that you're listening (they feel heard) and the questioning nature means they'll provide more information to go on with and use to advantage. It's important to repeat the words as a question with an upward lilt to the voice at the end.

Emotion labelling:

I love this one...essentially one names the other person's feelings which makes them feel understood, can lessen their stress level and builds trust - if they trust you they'll be more open to the negotiation, more pliable and way more likely to open up and share further information with you.

You: You seem annoyed with the process and outcome. There's frustration towards your team and you're concerned the timing applied too much pressure inhibiting your performance and the result.

I've got a few more to share down the track but wonder what your thoughts are on these ones.

Have you used them or do you recall these techniques being used on you? If so and you want to comment please go ahead in the comments below.

Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp

[Original and AI free] Image(s) in this post are my own

Comments · 15

  • @hive-lu(65)· 437d

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  • @verdesmeralda(73)· 443d

    Excellent strategies, as a teenager I often worried about how to continue a conversation, it would have been very useful to know the technique of repeating the last words in the form of a question, now that I know it I will not miss it when I consider it is good to use it. Thank you! =)

  • @beelzael(75)· 444d

    I don't think I've ever been exposed to those. No sophisticated negotiation in my line of work, just the usual half-truths, lies, pity-seeking.

    I don't like to negotiate at all. When I trust a person, I just see if I can afford and go with it, even if I know that I might get it cheaper. Trustworthy people are so hard to find, so I rather pay a little extra for not negotiating. If I don't know them, I research as much as I can about what I need and pre-set my price. If they go whiny or greedy on me, I seek someone else to do the job.

    Life is too short to negotiate 😅

  • @whosee(73)· 444d

    Thank you @galenkp for sharing your thoughts about negotiation. Many can apply these ways in their personal or professional lives. Im excited for your next blog❤️❤️❤️

  • @bleujay(74)· 444d

    Greetings @galenkp ,

    Thank you for these helps in viewing negotiation skills.

    Well said. All very interesting.

    I shall practice 'mirroring' and see how it goes.

    Kind Regards,

    Bleujay

  • @bozz(83)· 444d

    I'd like to think that I am pretty good at professional negotiation, but personal negotiation is another story. I hate buying cars and stuff like that because I typically just take most people at their word. It usually ends up to my detriment. At work I find if I can write something out I usually express myself better than trying to talk my way through it!

  • @doughnahhh(64)· 444d

    Indeed, in fact, the majority of people think they communicate well, yet many others don't. Negotiations may frequently fail or never take place as a result, though. Anyone may learn this comprehensive skill set of the negotiations, which includes what we call preparation, emotional intelligence, and active listening. Even the learning of the fundamentals may also have a significant positive impact on results by promoting more of what they call transparent communication and stronger bonds between people.

  • @asumtan01(31)· 444d

    hey dear @galenkp I’ve honestly never thought of negotiation in this way before. Mirroring especially n it sounds so basic, but now that I think about it, I’ve seen it work without realizing it was a technique. I usually just try to keep things polite and clear, but I guess there’s more to it. Definitely going to try these next time something like that comes up. im Curious to see what other ones you’ll share.

  • @asumtan01(31)· 444d

    hey dear @galenkp I’ve honestly never thought of negotiation in this way before. Mirroring especially n it sounds so basic, but now that I think about it, I’ve seen it work without realizing it was a technique. I usually just try to keep things polite and clear, but I guess there’s more to it. Definitely going to try these next time something like that comes up. im Curious to see what other ones you’ll share.

  • @tonyes(74)· 444d

    It seems to me that life is a negotiation in itself and that most of the time we are in that process in which whoever has the best tools will have the best results. For example, a person with good communication skills, observation skills, patience, mastery of the area in which he/she wants to negotiate, among others, will have better results.

    Of the techniques I have used more the second one and I recognize that it has given me good results because I have been empathetic and I have put myself in the other person's place and, through their emotions I have been able to achieve good results. Even in the present it gives me positive results.

    I have used the mirror and it has been used with me. The effect was positive and so were the results. I remember that on one occasion my mother was with me and was delighted to see how I closed a deal using this technique, which at the time I didn't even know it was called the mirror technique.

    Ah, something I reiterate because it is in your publication: These techniques can be applied in any situation in life. At least, from my personal experience. Happy Wednesday. Cheers and greetings.

  • @avdesing(80)· 444d

    You bring us some interesting techniques to apply. I have never used the first one, repeating words with that rising tone. We negotiate all the time in these circumstances, so I suppose that practising this technique will come naturally.

    I have used the second one about emotions, but not intentionally, rather spontaneously, and it brings people closer, making them feel more open to talking and conversing.

  • @zakludick(75)· 444d

    I'm often the only person in my team that can negotiate and arrange things in an amicable way.

    There are skills that I have learned from my days in retail sales.

    But I like the mirroring and identifying the emotions. I haven't used mirroring so directly. Usually, where appropriate I take the time to communicate and confirm a summary of instructions or concerns or whatever.

    And on identifying an emotion, I have not used it quite so directly. But I have learned to identify the goals and emotions of highly efficiently people who everyone thinks are angry assholes.

    And next thing they know, I am good friends with that person. Lol

    Because I attempted to understand their frustration and the cause for their behavior.

  • @davideownzall(75)· 444d

    Ahhh mind tricks! I see they are all to please the other person and make it less "distant" from you...

    Im absolutely bad at negotiating, I rarely do tough, I offer compromises most of the times and get around that but I'm fairly sure no one did that techniques on me

  • @seattlea(78)· 444d

    I recall you using the mirroring technique on one of my comments :) These two techniques I should practice using at work now that my position requires more interactions with various stakeholders...

  • @holoz0r(78)· 444d

    I have read entire books on negotiation.

    I hated them all. :P They were long, drawn out; and didn't cover the basic point. Negotiation is just communication. It must be done clearly, with an understanding of the other person's position.

    Then there's sort term and long term negotiation.

    If I'm negotiating with some shithead on facebook marketplace, I'm likely to not deal with them again, so that's why people lowball so often. But, if I'm negotiating with someone on a business plan that offers us both good prospects, that's... long term negotiation and is much more important.

    All the years of conflict resolution I did at my old job involved all sorts of this type of negotiation, and frankly, the best negotiators were the best communicators.

    The worst ones were always HR, particularly when it came to contracts and working conditions ;)