#life

Dark Hearts & Figgy Beers!

@meesterboom@meesterboom (81)2463d

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Ram-a-dam-a-ding-dong!!

Saturday night beer time and tonight we have dark hearts performing dark arts and inserting figs into the amber nectar.

It doesn't sound right to me but if this is a river I am destined to travel then smear me in butter and push me in!

Yes, indeed, as usual I am talking the utmost gibberish. It's the excitement of new beers. I can't hold it in!!

So what are they??

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The first is Dark Arts. A surreal Stout it is claimed.

Hmm. Will it have me rolling in glue and feathers and running up and down the street naked squawking at my neighbors whilst attempting to eat stray cats with my penis?

Some might say that would be surreal?

Me, I say just another Saturday night.

Well, let's bloody see then!!

Looks like a black satin glove with just a tickle of tan/brown froth at the top. Perhaps a glove that had been used for all the wrong reasons eh?

It looks like a solid and dependable brew. But is it?

You know, I think what I like most about this is that there isn't really any fancy gimmicks. It's proper malty and bitter with a tight charcoal smokiness. Then the warm caramel sweetness comes in. I like it a lot.

Get in, you dark art performing surreal thing. 8/10 bahooms!!

Hurrah. I'm in an even better mood now!

And so then, to the main event, the figs, the figs! I feel like I have fallen in with a gang of wild pigs and we are running around someone's yard dodging semi-automatic rifle fire.

So, let's get figgy!

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This figgy beer is actually called Jimmy Nail Ale. A chap who was a legend in the North England shires.

As you can see he had a face like a well-skelped arse but was probably relatively handsome by the standards of the North of England.

Handsome enough for someone to dedicate a beer made of figs to him!!!

Is that a compliment?

We'll soon see!

No doubt about it. It's brown. Or broon as they say up there in the concrete wastes of the North of England. A little hazy and a little pleasant.

Might be onto a winner!

Oh fuck. Fucking hot damn. What is that!? Is that figs? Figs can go and fuck off if it is. Who would eat something that tasted like that?!

It almost tastes gamey. Oh my god, my poor mouth!? Get thee behind me Figgy!! 2/10 booms. YUK!

So much for weird vagina fruits then!! I'm off to get something proper to drink!

Cheers everyone!!

Have a good weekend!!!

Comments · 22

@janton(71)· 2458d
Haha! I KNEW that fig ale couldn't be any good! 2/10 is pretty pitiful on the boom meter.
@kiwideb(68)· 2461d
I have to say his singing is more comprehensible than his speaking. I remember, back in the day, it took most of the first series of Auf Wiedersehen, Pet before I had any clue what he was talking abooot.
@beerlover(65)· 2461d
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@seckorama(78)· 2461d
Cool :) This post deserves a !BEER
@isadora21(50)· 2462d
buen post
@abh12345(80)· 2462d

he had a face like a well-skelped arse but was probably relatively handsome by the standards of the North of England.

Very true!

Figs...... I like figs but the face told me that beerifying them is not a good idea!

I hope you found that ginger bulb, or another beverage!
@jacobtothe(77)· 2462d
I can't say I'm impressed by the Jimmy Nail "music." Is that what passes for country music on the north of England? Uffda. And I thought the "bro country" trend here stateside was shit.

Did that figgy beer go down the drain or down the hatch? That will tell me what 2/10 booms ranks, and dare I ask what sort of beer gets only 1 boom, or if 0 booms is possible?

At least the stout was good. Huzzah?
@dreemit(73)· 2462d
Aww, well maybe if it was brewed in a stout, just a touch of it, I've always quite liked fig Newton cookies! Seems like something that would go well in a dark beer. But probably not by that brewing company, ewww to sickly sweet!
@arcange(79)· 2462d
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@beerlover(65)· 2462d
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@eii(72)· 2462d
!BEER for @meesterboom
@salahdin1985(25)· 2462d
Good

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@smasssh(67)· 2462d
Looks like Jimmy was a bit ahead of his time. Just 'Crocs' would have really hit the charts like a bomb a couple of decades later. Anyway the quality of his singing was just as good as that second beer so it seems:
@alishi(71)· 2462d
LOL I loooooooove your face when it is bad - really looked like it tasted terrible. Figs are nice but I cannot imagine it in a beer. That video should have been an indication of how the beer would taste hahaha
@ryivhnn(73)· 2462d
Were you drunk before you started XD

And I guess you're missing Uncle Boomwith sneaking a face description into a beer review? XD
@minismallholding(75)· 2463d
No, no, noooo! Your supposed to save the best for last! Can't go around with a bad taste in your mouth. I hope there was still some of the first to wash the bad taste away.
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@beerlover(65)· 2463d
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@ayjoe(57)· 2463d
!BEER

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@oaldamster(70)· 2463d
Get figgy with it?

No figgin way!

Well, at least the first one was a cracker. 😎🍻

And while your at it with inserting things into darkened places , a pealed Madame Jeanette might add a new intense sensational experience dimension to things that can raise a tail. 😄

But another truly fine beer might also be able to flush away the taste of the horror figgin brew.

Cheers!
@carlosnoriega(52)· 2463d
Buena publicacion!!!
@meesterboom(81)· 2463d
Oh look, I'm #posh!! :0D