Hmmm. I don't know, I think I would have to challenge that assumption.
Snaggletooth reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a ridiculous handkerchief and blew his nose to emphasise his point.
It was quite a wet-sounding nose blowing and I shuddered as I remembered the horror of the weekend's snotters.
He tucked the now ridiculously heavy looking hanky back into his pocket.
I could almost smell the green from it and choked back a boak.
It's not an assumption. I am telling you it is needed.
I replied smugly over the meeting table.
We were in a Risk Meeting for some random shitty piece of work we had, to create a public facing web portal for customers to self-serve.
As Captain-Johnny-Test I was doing the usual, you will have to test this and that, nonsense.
And depressingly as usual, no one wanted to test anything because it costs money.
Snaggletooth leaned forward and fixed me with a long odd-toothed gaze.
And I would challenge that.
He grunted with great self-satisfaction as if he were rooting for half-eaten apples in the mud and had found a shiny penny.
I frowned deeply and gave him the long eye which is remarkably similar to the stink-eye but longer.
A challenge eh? Should I rip my shirt off and get the jam out?
Or leap up and smash my chair on the ground and go at him with a splintered chair leg as if he were an albino cat and I, a crazed half-drunk Russian lion-tamer?
Better yet, find the mug he drank his tea from and go Rim to Rim with it in the toilets before replacing it back on his desk with him none the wiser?
A cold smile played along my face at the thought of him savouring his brown tea.
The tension in the room was becoming unbearable as all faces watched for my response to this challenge.
I knew something big was needed.
Should I invoke the memory of the great downtime of 2014?
Many scalps had been lost in that one.
I took a deep breath and sighed.
Ach, do what you want then.
Snaggletooth all but burst into flames and imploded into nothing with disbelief and shock.
Eh, what? Um. No thanks. Tell you what, why don't we just put it in the plan. That ok?
He smiled at me as if we were great friends and no one had thought of rubbing their arses on anyone's mug.
I smiled back.
Looks like his mug was safe... For now.
