Some days I swear I feel like it all to much. Somedays I'll go non verbal and out of reach. Somedays I push any one who dares come my way. Somedays I wonder why I'm still alive. Somedays the clock tick so slow, I can feel my blood flowing. Somedays the day gets more gruelling. Somedays theses dark clouds seem more darker. Somedays I can feel my heart beating faster. Whether or not I should end it all, somedays I really feel nothing at all. Somedays I cry for no apparent reason. Somedays I watch as I let this guilt and anxiety eat me alive and burn everything to the ground. Somedays I can hardly breathe, heart is heavy, like I'm fighting for every breath. Somedays I question who I am because somedays I feel it's all a performance like I'm a sham. Somedays crying doesn't help. Somedays talking feel like an hassle. Somedays the ugly things swimming beneath this seemingly "beautiful" soul surface. Somedays I cut myself apart for anyone who wants a taste. Somedays my heart goes against all my orders and my brain does way worse. Somedays I wish for someone to talk to. Somedays I don't know who I am, like I got a hundred million personality, one for everyone I come in contact with. Somedays I hate people in general. Somedays I hate the complexities of life. Somedays the ground seem like it wants to swallow me whole and somedays I don't fight back. Somedays I overthink and spiral into different worlds, where happy ending are foreign. Somedays...........
Some days I'll read an entire novel in day. Some days I'll stay up to write a poem. Somedays I wonder about the intricacies of life. Some days I want to go on long walks and experience nature. Somedays I stand in the garden as the wind blows. Some days I want to know all the words in the dictionary. Some days I want to dance in the rain. Somedays I'll stare in the mirror and think of all the beautiful things I've become. Somedays I'll sing so loud that my lungs will just burst. Somedays I want to color my heart with all the colors of the rainbow. Somedays I'll wear an oversized shirt that swallows me whole. Somedays I laugh so hard I forget what was so funny In the first place. Somedays I want to talk till I lose my voice. Somedays I want to feel like a main character in a movie, who makes everything alright in the end. Somedays I want to see the see the sunset, with you. Somedays I swear I feel lighter. Somedays I want to write about everything beautiful that have come my way, every beautiful thing I've experienced. Somedays I want to write cute little letters, to undeniably cute people I care about. Somedays I want to go to the beach and talk with the ocean and feel the salty ocean breeze, with a silly smile on my face. Somedays I want to tell people I miss them before it's too late. Somedays I want to go on long walks with no destination and just the sound of my music. Somedays I'll smile at strangers and watch the look in confusion, as to where they know me from, but I'll laugh at my silly little prank. Somedays I'll stay coiled up in my bed watching silly rom-coms and pretend I'm not tearing up during the cheesy part so my brother won't laugh at me. Somedays I just want to listen to the rain all couped up in my pyjamas. Somedays I just want someone to hold my handsvand tell me it's alright, even though we both know it's not. Somedays I want wear sparkly clothes and go out and have fun. Somedays.........
It's Still Abeegail ✨💗 Thank you for Reading.
The image is mine.
