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Sometimes, we are caught up in the web of meeting up to people’s expectations so such as our parents or the people around us that we fail to actualize what we actually want.
I remember when I was still very young, a friend of my dad visited our home. He was seated with my father in the living room. I passed through the living room to get something from the kitchen and returned back to my room. After the man left, my dad told me that his friend said while I walked past the living room that he saw a revelation of me putting on black gown on my body and a wig on my head; like that of a lawyer. He felt convinced that was what was destined to be. My father believed it, and from the moment he started referring to me as the lawyer of the house.
Gradually, I began to envision myself in that career field. Not because I have had any desire for it whatsoever, but because of the words of a person. And from the part of the world I grew up in, our parents are the type that would be really proud to have a son or a daughter as a lawyer. So whenever I think of that profession I just think about how proud it would make my parents of me, the reverence that comes with the title, and not about me having an interest or likeness to it.
I lived with this mindset until I had a discussion with a cousin of mine about what I would love to be when I grow up and I told him a Lawyer. Then he asked me why I would want to be one, and I told him that it was because that’s what my friend’s dad claimed to have seen in a revelation. He laughed softly and then asked me if that’s what I personally wanted, or whether I was just working with that because that was what someone said concerning me. I began to think on that question. That was when I realized that all this time I was just focused on meeting people’s expectations, and had sidelined my own interests. Truth is that nothing concerning that kind of life was of interest to me, I was just chasing a title with the hope of making my parents happy and proud.
I realized that I had to carve out my own path by myself and not based off of someone’s opinion or expectations. With time, I finally got to figure out what I wanted for myself, what made me joy and happiness. I told my father about it. At first he felt a little disappointed, but he eventually respected my decision and gave me all the support I needed.
At first it was it was a bit telling having to tell my friends that this is now what I wanted to do after telling them before that I wanted to be a lawyer. But they eventually got used to it. Besides, sometimes life may require you to have a change of mind and make new decisions.
Today, I can confidently say that I am living out the life that I want. There is nothing more satisfying and fulfilling than that. Sometimes ‘the best’ that people want for you may not really be what is meant for you. Just because it is ‘the best’ for others does not mean it is for you, or every other person. One of the things that can be really misleading is modeling other people’s life. At the end of the day, what would make you stand out is having your dreams fulfilled.
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