Source; Unsplash
When it comes to people, we all experience different aspects of them, depending on their mood, trauma, the version of the story they hold about us, their culture, and so on. I have found peace lately in knowing that most reactions people have may not be entirely about me. That still isn't an excuse to act a certain way towards others.
I am mostly an introvert, but when I go out in public, I tend to smile often and rub off on people in a positive, cheerful way. I try to make sure my mood, or whatever I am going through, doesn't affect how I treat outsiders. I also have a habit of picking on quiet people, because I can't fully understand the mechanism behind them. I used to say they are evidence that God exists, because in a world full of chaos, they will always choose peace.
Asides picking on quiet people I also have a habit of gathering friends from simple conversations or listening to them talk and trying to find solutions when I can.
That my habit made me a social butterfly gathering friends and foes at the same pace.
One colleague in my class and I had gotten into a fight earlier, and she still harbored a lot of hatred towards me. The feeling was mutual, but I never spread lies about her, while she did about me.
We were preparing vigorously for exams, going through every degree of stress a person in a Nigerian setting feels while writing exams, when word reached me about things I had no memory of doing.
She had said I slept around with a particular set of guys in our class, and that I "went around sucking lollipops." At first I thought it was the lollipop my friend had given me that was making the headlines. I didn't realize the term meant something completely different.
When I finally understood it, I went through several kinds of anger: the kind you feel when you are truly hurt, the kind that boils so much you have nothing to say while you contemplate the best way to react. I was furious. Our past history made her words even worse, and so did the fact that she said it in front of my friend, without caring whether it would get back to me.
I wonder why she didn't assume same for my female friends because I do have loads of them and why just the male.
Confronting her was not possible, because my friend is a cry baby and did not want to get involved in any drama. I had to respect my friend's emotions over a temporary banter.
What gave me a little peace was that my friend was present and defended me in the little way she could. I know I am not what she says I am. I also know that no matter how much we defend ourselves, people will hold on to the version of us they find most convenient, so it is better to ignore them.
