ASEAN HIVE COMMUNITY

Traveling to Mexico for a month has changed me, and I think for the better

When I was in Mexico last month visiting my family my day-to-day life was very different than it is here in Vietnam. I'm not just talking about obvious things like different languages, cultures, and food. Nah, I'm talking about my own personal way of life and how I choose to lead it.

It's kind of unavoidable in expat communities that there is going to be a strong drinking culture because we all have to get together somewhere right? Whether you enjoy drinking or not it is kind of undeniable that this is the easiest forum in which to meet other people and make new friends. The problem is that we are all joined together by something that isn't really a good thing.

When I was in Mexico I was hanging out primarily with my family and none of them are very heavy drinkers. My father and brother hardly imbibe in alcohol at all.

[src](https://i.natgeofe.com/n/6c02ad5a-977b-4f12-b9c0-02ffb0736e07/metropolitan-cathedral-zocalo-mexico-city.JPG)

This isn't to say that Mexico doesn't have a drinking culture: It certainly does and maybe one of the highest in the world. The expat community is not exempt to this either. Just like in Vietnam, you can count on a large quantity of barely-able-to-stand foreigners being almost anywhere that foreigners go in that country. My parents just are not part of all of that.

I recall how my mom said that she kind of laments from time to time about how she doesn't have many friends so one night I tried to serve as a middleman and took them into the "downtown" area of Chapalla and started chatting up people at the bar. We ended up meeting a bunch of people but they could tell and I could tell, that these were not the kind of people you really want to establish a relationship with. They were a bunch of drunks.

While I was there in Mexico for nearly a month there was only a SINGLE DAY where I had more than 2 drinks in an evening and this is extremely rare for me back in Asia. I always tell people that "I don't drink very much, but I do drink very often."

This is only kind of halfway true. I believe I am a borderline alcoholic and after I would say 3 drinks, I want to have all of them even though I know that I am making tomorrow suck in the meantime.

[src](https://media.urbanistnetwork.com/saigoneer/article-images/legacy/niOjKhBb.jpg)

I don't know the people in this picture and sadly I don't hang out with very many Vietnamese people at all, ever. I have nothing against them, don't think ill of me. But I will say this. I can at any point in time go and join people I know at half a dozen "watering holes" 7 days a week and find myself included in conversation and merriment any time I feel like it.

If I want to go and do something that doesn't involve booze though, there is a good chance that I am going to be there alone or maybe with my dog Nadi. That's kind of just the way of the world I think, and it certainly is the way of the drinking expat community.

Since I returned from Mexico though, I have kind of started to revel in not being drunk or hungover. I've only had one hangover since I returned and while that might be normal life for all of you out there, it used to be quite common for me to be hungover at least half of every week. I got back here about a month ago and almost all of my days have been hangover-free.

I'm going to bed early and I guess that seems kind of lame but I am waking up early and getting stuff done. I don't have a tremendous amount of responsibility, but I do have some. I have to say it is kind of nice to be finished with all the obligations I have in a day before noon most days.

I have also found that I am doing things like exercising if for no other reason that to pass the time in the afternoon before it gets dark. I also have a fridge full of food that isn't burgers and pizza.

I lost 3kg while I was in Mexico and I have lost another one simply by being back here in Vietnam and staying away from the bars.

Yesterday I decided that I have been good for a while and I went to my old watering hole to say hello and within 30 minutes of being there I realized that I was bored with all the conversation and most of the people that were there. I basically looked around and thought to myself "why am I even here?"

If I am going to stick with this I am going to have to reprogram myself a bit because I honestly don't even know where people hang out if they are not going to drink. I have built my entire life around booze it seems and now I don't know where to go to not do that. Mostly I am just staying at home and "being boring."

Nadi doesn't mind though, she is always happy to be around me no matter what we do. Maybe I need to put myself into that mindset. The notion of going to a bar and not drinking alcohol is something that is completely foreign to me. Perhaps I could substitute coffee and just get jacked as can be on caffeine.

It's a bit of a mixed bag trying to change my life like this. I'm not prone to loneliness and when I am around people that are boozing like crazy I do look around and kind of look down on them. If I'm not going to feel like crap half of every day though, I think this change that happened by accident because of Mexico is going to need a more permanent fix!

Comments · 7

@bozz(83)· 4h
That's an interesting revelation. I think it's okay to realize that certain lifestyles aren't quite for you anymore. At the very least it's good to acknowledge it isn't something you want to do every day. It's like that Toby Keith song I'm not as good as I once was. We can be good once though and go hard! Being social is hard for me, alcohol definitely helps, but rather than drinking all the time I just have barely any friends... Maybe also not that healthy... Sorry, I am rambling!
@mayt(75)· 5h
@kellyane(73)· 6h
Drinking is always part of the get-together, so if you join the hangout, you’ll inevitably end up drinking too. That’s why some people just choose to spend time alone,to avoid drinking, especially if they aren't used to it.
@coinjoe(73)· 6h
Glad you stopped so much of the drinking. It is not good for your health. No doubt if you did some more research you could find some expats who are into other activities besides drinking. If not, maybe just start making friends with locals.
@latinowinner(58)· 7h
You watched Mariachi for sure , along with plenty of cerveza Corona (made in Mexico for the world), but hope you stayed safe and sound cos Mexico Drugs Cartels , corruption and insecurity are big issues there.
@davidke20(80)· 9h
Hmmm... It's difficult, considering you're "foreigner", as you have pointed out one of the most prominent meetup place for expat is always at the bar. And at the bar, the only thing expat do is... Well, to do nothing other than drinking. I'm pretty darn sure the conversation has always been the usual few lines that each of you repeating multiple times over the night towards different people, and the answer doesn't really matter but it leading to a "cheers", either a sip or bottoms up. I don't know, maybe a gym membership can help to curb that loneliness? But then, gym is just a different kind of animal farm. You'll meet a bunch of "serious" guys who say nothing but roar and rep count, or another bunch that will invade your shower curtain to "borrow shampoo".

I don't know. I originally don't feel like commenting, but I also feels like I have to. I gave up drinking since I have stopped smoking. I did went back to the water hole twice since 2020. The first time after the lockdown, I drink 1.5 pint only, I have trouble finding my way home. I think it took me more than an hour wondering around the entire Kuala Lumpur fading in and out of conscious behind the wheel 😅

The second time, the boss called for a drink after we got a small bonus. I took one pint and the next day I had a huge headache whole day in the office.

Since then, the only beverage at the bar I'm getting, is always ice water. What to do if I don't go to a bar? Well, I'm not expat. Some of the weekdays I will send kids to tuition. Some of the day, I am staying at home playing old retro PC games. If there's friend meet up, usually it will end in local indian shops for a masala chai.
@erikah(83)· 9h
The problem starts when health issues appear due to drinking and you only know that lifestyle and nothing else makes you happy or occupies your time.

I think this change in your behavior came in the right time and for a good reason. It may be a bit strange and needs figuring out what to do with your free time and the new energy that comes from not being drunk every day, but trust me, there's plenty to do and you'll be thankful to your own self later, for taking this new road. Nadi needs you now, more than ever and the more time you spend with her, the better will be for you after she's gone.