Every time I get in contact with my dad, either through a phone call or a face-to-face conversation, I keep getting surprised at how he has been living his life in a way that makes him so accommodating with everyone in the large extended family. The most surprising thing is that he isn't among the richest(he's not financially rich at all) nor is he among the eldest in the family, but everyone rallies around him. Everyone here means absolutely everyone in the large extended family, from his uncles and aunties to his nieces and nephews. Currently, he's overseeing a house project for his elder sister (my aunt) in the village, and meanwhile, there are other people who are way more agile and capable of taking on such responsibilities in the family. When I was in the village together with them, he supervised many projects for his uncles.
Each time we talk on the phone, he usually tells me the latest happenings between him and one close or extended family member, and he usually asks if I'm calling this person or another person to keep in touch with them. Like, how he has maintained those relationships with people is always amazingly surprising to me because that lifestyle has been very difficult for me to maintain.
Last month, I travelled home for a burial ceremony (yeah, a ceremony celebrating the well-spent life of one of our elders in the family), and I had uncles and aunties I hadn't been in touch with come around, and all of them camped in our house. I can't count how many times I was dragged to the centre of the parlour to answer queries about why I hadn't visited them or kept in touch with them, even when I live very close to some of them, and I couldn't just find a way to defend myself.
In a nutshell, I haven't just been good in keeping relationship with family members and it fears me a lot because if my dad happens to leave this world, it's going to be very difficult with me in maintaining the kind of bond he built with everyone.
It's not like I'm not trying...
Honestly, I have been trying my best to meet up, but I can't just find myself to match up with the tempo my dad has built already.
I have made it a must that anytime we visit home for a ceremony where everyone will attend, I will get in touch with everyone, with the long list of greetings, and withstand the queries about why I haven't been visiting them or calling them the way my dad does.
The funny thing is, I'm doing better in terms of relating with everyone in the family compared to other family members within my age range. That gives me a lot of confidence and tells me that, though I haven't matched up with my dad's tempo, I'm not doing badly either.
Thanks for reading.
The photo used is mine
