Seriously, I don't understand why we keep blaming clothing whenever we talk about sexual abuse or harassment. Clothing has nothing to do with bad intentions. It is all about the mindset of the person.
Think about it for a moment. What kind of “bad clothing” can a child of two or three years old possibly wear to become a victim?
A child that small doesn't understand fashion, seduction, or anything of that nature. They are just children. Yet we hear about children being abused, both girls and boys. So if clothing is really what causes people to have bad intentions, then how do we explain this?
I remember an incident that happened in my area some years ago. There was a convent close to where I lived, and the nuns lived there. If you know how nuns normally dress, you already understand what I mean. They were fully covered. You could practically only see their faces.
Unfortunately, some guys broke into the convent one day, and almost all of the nuns became victims, they were all raped.
Now, what were they wearing? Nothing revealing. Nothing suggestive. Nothing that could reasonably be described as an invitation. They were dressed as nuns should.
So what exactly are we going to blame in that situation? Their clothes?
That incident has always made me think about this issue differently. If clothing is truly the reason people develop bad intentions, then why did those men attack women who were completely covered? Why are babies and young children victims? Why are boys victims too? Why do people get abused in places where everyone is dressed modestly?
At some point, we have to be honest with ourselves and admit that the problem is not clothing. The problem is the mindset and actions of the person who chooses to do harm.
Of course, everyone has the right to have an opinion about how people dress. Someone may think a particular outfit is too revealing or inappropriate, and that is their personal opinion. But having an opinion about someone's clothing is completely different from using that clothing as an excuse for harassment, assault, or abuse.
A person can feel attracted to someone and still choose to respect them. That is where self-control, values, respect, and understanding of boundaries come in.
We should also be careful about the message we send to victims when we immediately ask, “What were you wearing?”
Sometimes that question makes it sound as if the victim has to explain themselves, instead of asking why the offender decided to cross the line in the first place.
A woman wearing a short dress does not give anyone permission to touch her. A man wearing shorts does not give anyone permission to assault him. A child wearing anything at all is never responsible for being abused.
And a nun wearing a habit certainly isn't asking to be attacked.
Clothing is just clothing, What matters is the mindset behind a person's actions. We should spend more time teaching people about respect, consent, self-control, and boundaries instead of constantly teaching potential victims what they should wear to avoid becoming victims.
Because , if clothing was truly the cause, then the question remains,Why are children, boys, fully covered women, and people in all kinds of clothing still becoming victims?
Maybe the conversation needs to change. Instead of asking victims, “What were you wearing?” We should start asking offenders, “Why did you think you had the right to do that?”
If you will like to participate, you can find the link Here
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