How to find courage in times when the world is trying to make you think of yourself as less than you're. It was not easy for me to answer this question a year ago. When courage was a child I was skinny and I never worried about image. I went to the playground minding business and laughed heartily knowing that no one would look at courage with judgment or disgust.
As I entered puberty and my body shape started to change gained some weight. Grew taller. This was normal for me and I did not think about it much. I guessed it was genetic as everyone in our family has a weight although we are all naturally big boned. Still the world made me think that there is something with my weight.
Being chubby took a lot of my confidence and I started to judge me comparing to others. I dreaded photos and shopping. Sometimes even people’s words and judgment were more than I could bear. It started when I got self realization that my body was not like my friends. I felt insecure and decided for a diet to lose weight. As it usually happens the diet kept me anorexic. Courage’s body image was greatly affected by these experiences and the constant dissatisfaction with myself.
I thought that maybe if I lost some weight my body would start to look good to me. It did not happen. On the contrary I educated myself with knowledge that it's because of my genes and I was destined to be bigger boned and that I would never look like the models in fashion magazines. My body was normal as it was and I had to accept it no matter what.
Now at 26 I still has a way to go in terms of body acceptance but at least I made peace with me and my body. It was not a process and I does not regret it for a second.
I realized that my self‑worth and happiness should not be dependent on factors such, as people’s opinions or courage’s weight. However I understands that I will always have days when my body will not be entirely okay to close my eyes. That is when I allow myself to have these thoughts and then move on.
My socials Instagram
Thumbnail source: ChatGPT (ai generated)
All content is original unless otherwise credited.
