What 20 Years of witnessing a stage 4 cancer survivor has taught us about life and friendship
There are moments in life when your entire perspective on suffering, resilience, and wealth gets completely rewritten, and for my circle of friends, that shift happened through witnessing the life of a man we are privileged to call our friend. For the past two decades, he has been quietly fighting a battle that most people cannot even fathom as a Stage 4 colon cancer survivor. To put that into perspective, he has been surviving this aggressive illness for twenty years, a timeline that completely defies almost all medical statistics. Behind the word "survivor" lies a daily reality of immense physical pain, compounding health complications, and a relentless cycle of medical procedures, yet the way he carries this heavy cross is what makes him completely unique. He faces every single hurdle with an absolute, unshakeable calmness, and where others would scream, curse, or despair, he offers patience. Watching his journey from up close has given all of us a profoundly different definition of what it means to be strong.
His journey began twenty years ago when he underwent his initial major surgery at the prestigious Tata Memorial Hospital in Mumbai. If you look at the medical data from that era, finding a Stage 4 colon cancer patient who has survived two full decades is incredibly rare, and he has truly become a living case study because no one else from his specific patient cohort diagnosed during that time has survived this long. He is a medical marvel keeping science on its toes, but his battle has never been purely physical. Cancer is an expensive disease, and the long-term toll has made it impossible for him to maintain a regular income or achieve financial stability. He does not have a steady job, nor does he have the luxury of financial security, and in a world where money is often equated with the ability to survive, his lack of financial resources added a terrifying layer of vulnerability to an already fragile existence. Yet, where his financial safety net ended, the power of human connection stepped in.
Living with advanced cancer means walking on a tightrope where the weather can change in a second. Two years ago, his condition took a terrifying turn when he suddenly began vomiting blood and needed immediate, intensive, and highly expensive medical intervention. Seeing our friend on the brink, our entire circle of friends rallied together to launch an emergency fundraiser among ourselves, collecting a huge sum of money to provide the immediate financial backing he needed to stay alive. He survived that crisis, but cancer rarely plays fair, and just a few months after recovering from that internal bleeding, doctors discovered another malignant tumor on his back. Once again, he had to face the cold reality of the operating theater and go under the knife.
More recently, we were given a stark reminder of how unpredictable his life is when he was hanging out with us until 4:00 PM on Ganesh Puja. Everything seemed perfectly fine as we talked, shared space, and enjoyed the day, but within a span of just a few hours, his body began to fail, and by nightfall, his condition turned critical. We had to run in the middle of the night to get him admitted to the emergency room, praying he would make it through the dark.
As I sit down to write this post, the reality of that midnight rush is still fresh because he is currently being treated at the state-of-the-art AIG Hospital in Hyderabad - yes, after coming out of the local hospital, he again experienced bleeding and that is why we advised him to to to AIG Hospital. When you are dealing with a medical history as complex as his, you need world-class clinical intervention, and AIG has been expertly managing his critical care. Today, I can finally share the incredibly good news that he is officially out of danger. His body has held on once again, proving that he is surviving because of his willpower, but also because he is backed by a fortress of friends. True friendship isn’t just about being there for the good times; it’s about standing in the gap when someone is too weak to stand. Because private health insurance companies completely reject individuals with a twenty-year history of Stage 4 cancer, navigating the healthcare system independently seemed impossible. To break through this wall, one of our friends recently took a monumental step and officially put our brave friend on his company's payroll. This single act of corporate kindness allowed him to qualify for group health insurance, opening doors to medical care that were previously locked shut. As a group, we sponsor the vast majority of his medical expenses, manage the bills, coordinate the hospital runs, and stay awake in the waiting rooms during late-night emergencies so he can focus entirely on breathing. I personally pay for some of his monthly medical bills as well - people look out for charity, but when we have someone like him in our close circle, we consider that as our greatest charity.
When you stand close to a fire like that, you can't help but reflect on your own life. I often look at the world around us, where people face temporary setbacks, heartbreak, or financial stress, and it pains me to see how many individuals feel overwhelmed enough to give up on life entirely. When those thoughts cross my mind, I look at him and wonder if anyone else could possibly have a heavier burden of problems than this man. He lives with a body that fights itself, a bank account that stays empty, and a future that is never guaranteed past the next few hours, yet he chooses to live and fight. His tremendous patience in the face of absolute adversity strips away every excuse the rest of us have to complain about our minor daily inconveniences. Witnessing a life like his teaches you rare, invaluable lessons about gratitude, forcing you to realize that if life is worth fighting for under his conditions, then life is always fundamentally worth living.
We might be providing the money, the insurance, and the logistical coordination, but make no mistake: he is the provider of courage. We supply the material support, but he supplies the spirit, and he is, without a doubt, the bravest of all of us. His journey has changed us in tangible ways by forcing us to realize how fleeting time is and how deeply we need each other. Because of him, we started a beautiful new habit in our lives of meeting with friends physically at least once a week. Almost every Sunday, at least three of us gather together for a tea party with no screens and no distractions - just real, physical presence, shared laughter, and deep conversations. It has become our anchor in a fast-moving world. With the wonderful news that he is recovering well at AIG Hospital, my greatest hope right now is to see him sitting back in his usual spot at our next Sunday tea party very soon. He is a living text that teaches us every single day that no matter how painful, how broken, or how difficult things get, life is a precious gift, and community makes it worth living. I will create a separate post showing various photos from our tea party once he comes back.
This post is in response to the The Inkwell Combined Writing Prompt #52
copyrights @sanjeevm - content created uniquely with passion for #HIVE platform — NOT posted anywhere else! #HIVE is my only social diary - my blog is my life.
AI free content - do not lose your natural intelligence.
Don't have a hive account ? Then you are missing the fun on one of the most decentralized blockchains - created and run by community, free from any centralized entities. Create your account using my referral and you will have my support for good and genuine AI free content.
